Growing Old.... in Friends With the Benedicts

As I look at the calendar of days gone by, I get excited because they’re going fast toward something I’m looking forward to. Then I stop to think about how effortless it was, that they passed without me knowing, and it makes me sad to think that this is the way it’ll be now.

Nothing makes sense anymore. How could it, when we are getting older without permission? Nobody said life could pass me by this fast. Nobody even said it would. I wish, I wish, is all I can say now. I wish I had listened, wish I had paid attention. I wish I had slowed down.

I would say it’s all bittersweet but there’s nothing all that sweet about it. Just bitterness. I wanna go back and tell that young girl a thing or two. I don’t know what I would say, but I know it would include you. I would tell her to please be kinder to her body, that she will need it to be strong. I would tell her to live a little fuller, and love a little longer. tell her to listen closer to the most important people in her life.

Some say there’s no sense in looking back. I say you can’t move forward until you do. Do not obsess, but reflect. Do not regret, but remember. I am so fortunate. It sounds weird saying that but it’s true. my memory may not be good short but it is long, and thankfully baby, I remember you.... I remember our whole first week as if it was yesterday. I remember our first kiss, I remember the things we would say. Yea, the days are speeding up, but I have to remember one more thing. It’s the fact that I’m on this roller coaster with you, and not alone like I think.

***I don’t write very much anymore, but I had a sudden inspiration for that. I am not really in the mood for this place right now. Maybe a private entry? Yea, that sounds good.... lol.