don't mind me in --

I feel very unsatisfied in every way possible.
It’s really hard to keep going all the time, even if I tell myself that I don’t need certain things. I tell myself that my emotional, physical, mental needs don’t matter as much as everyone else’s and I push it down until it piles up and then I can’t keep it down anymore.

I go through these cycles and I feel stuck in it.

I also feel like if I don’t act happy or fake it, then I’m a burden. Nevermind that I have had zero time with Jacob or even to myself. I never get sleep. I don’t have any autonomy. It wears away at me. I wear away at myself.

I guess some things never change.

Last updated April 18, 2015