15-03.25.69 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

I may wind up writing twice today but… that is perfectly acceptable. It has been a while since my Date Tracking Titles had the same dateline with different entry numbers.

This morning threw me and I have no idea why. Woke up, showered, drove to work… as I got to work I realized (1) I don’t have my ID Badge and (2) I don’t have any pens. There are work arounds here (hell, I’ve had this same job for three years… I know the system) but… that doesn’t happen very often. I rarely come to work unprepared especially in regards to my ID Badge! So I go through the system, get the paperwork for court, go to court, do the “extended check in” routine for non-employees and have court. Court itself… not unusual. We had the judge that likes to talk, so it took over an hour but I like the man so I don’t get annoyed by him taking longer. I go back through Civilian Security to leave the prison and walk back to my office.

When I arrive, there are several people congregating outside the doors to get into the building. The doors are locked. Locked, sealed… so even if I had my ID Badge, I would not have been able to get into the building! In three years (some of those at Full Time) I have never experienced a locked building in the middle of the day… and NEVER experienced the building being so locked that ID Badges couldn’t gain access. I peer in and see every. single. person. being hurried into the basement. I get Securities attention as if to say, “You know me, I work here, let me in.” He looks at me annoyed and tells me that there is no way he can end the lock down for anyone outside. Weird. So I immediately start thinking that there is a bomb threat or security risk or someone in the Programs division went homicidal. Then I hear it. In the distance at first but louder and louder. Tornado Siren. And I’m not allowed in the building. And it hit me… if there were a real tornado, if the siren was alerting us to imminent danger… my office wouldn’t give a shit that I died due to their bullshit. It was a startling realization. Made even worse by taking stock of who was locked out with me. Around me were several people who had been court ordered to report to this facility at a certain time of day, every day, before they went to work. Our “tornado system” might set the County up for a wrongful death negligence action were I to die… but these men could go to prison if they don’t check in. You’re telling me that the way the county deals with Tornadoes in this building is to actively fuck over people who have been court ordered to appear and simply shrug your shoulders that you can’t provide a safe-haven for them during a tornado? That seems fucked up to me. There are a dozen ways the system could be improved so as not to be so openly callous or outright negligent… but then… I forgot. I live in Omaha… the place where “we tax like we’re liberals, spend like we’re libertarians, and pretend to be conservatives.”

In other news, I got a text message from my only friend that lives in the area. He wants to (1) take me with him to a Lawyer Meet & Greet on Thursday and (2) have me come out to the Fish Fry on Friday. Here’s the thing… I haven’t seen him since before the bar exam. I would LOVE to hang out with him, catch up, everything. AND I don’t want him to think I’m avoiding him as I have actively been not playing video games on-line. But… yeah. The lawyer meet and greet? I can’t see that going well. Three hours at a bar with other lawyers all asking me (a) Where do I work? (b) Where do I plan on working? (c) When did I take the bar? (d) How do I feel about the bar? (e) Why did I come to Nebraska? Those aren’t guesses at the questions. I’ve been to one of these meet & greets before. I don’t have a full time legal job, so people worry that I’m a statistic that is being used to illustrate how the field has lost respect, prestige, and economic viability. Then they find out that I haven’t passed the bar yet, so they feel justified that The Law is still a healthy occupation; I’m the problem. So they want to talk about the bar exam. I do not want to talk about the bar exam. Then they find out I came from Iowa and want to go back to Iowa so they get confused as to why I attended law school in Nebraska. I don’t want to deal with all of that! But I do want to see my friend and it has been ages since I’ve gone to a bar!! Then there is the Fish Fry. It is on Friday night. I don’t want to tell my friend about marriage counseling and trying to cook with my wife in an attempt to salvage our relationship and all of that. As I may have said before, I don’t have a lot of IRL friends that I feel comfortable letting them that far in. Even my best friend in the world right now, actually. Because… different reasons for different people. My Omaha Friend is a great guy who is super sensitive… but I don’t want to expose my dirty laundry because it will make things awkward. My Best Friend in the World? I don’t want to expose my dirty laundry because… well… he’s a few years younger, has never been in any romantic relationship, and doesn’t have much experience with Female Interaction in general. That is why I come here. Because… in a lot of great ways… many of you remind me of the friends I had in HS or of the friends I wish I had now or you have the experience and the openness to really consider things. ANYWAY… I don’t want to do the Fish Fry because after our first Marriage Counseling session… I don’t want to force my wife into a social interaction. She’s not that social to begin with so after something like that… I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. So… at some point today, I have to write a long text message back to my friend basically saying, “Thanks for inviting me to two different things. Don’t want to do either one. I’m not avoiding you and I would love to hang out soon. Just… not those two ideas/times.” I suppose if it were any other friend I wouldn’t be worried but… this guy is super sensitive… he still apologizes for things that happened a year ago that (even at the time) I didn’t consider a big deal.