owl in poetry

I’ve seen the best minds of my generation
driven stark raving sane
exhaust their heat on respectability
instead of making the world change
get semi-stable jobs
sit down and make kids
or at least buy a yappy dog and
while I might begrudge them
I can’t really blame them
because I can’t put myself in their shoes
I couldn’t live that life if I wanted to
I was born to either win big
or consistently lose
I’m too neurotic to walk that path
were I even interested in the act

look, brother
comparatively I’ve had it pretty good
I’ve never worried when I was gonna eat
I always either had a job
or the support of my folks
or a lover with a little bit of money
I’ve never been to war
but for my expectations
for the things I was set up with
for a working class scion
too good at school for his own good
but too debt-averse to spin his wheels
in the interminable endless excuse of grad school
look, brother, for that kind of person
I have seen a few things
I have had my heart broken a passel of times
and only a few of those times by romantic love
for the baseline I had established
by hearth and home and dumb luck
I’ve lost more than a few things
family ideals heroes dreams
in mansions and in ghetto clinics
under railroad bridges
under at least one sun
maybe more than one but at least one sun
under that at least one sun
I’ve seen a few things

I’ve seen the best minds of my generation
driven stark raving sane
but I was never one of them
I wasn’t a best mind though I was pretty good
I never was quite sane and I never really tried to be
but good Christ knows I was told to try
but all telling me to be totally sane got me
was pushing me closer to totally mad
I escaped that too, brother
I stayed half-crazy like I always was
but I was not-unscathed
I didn’t get to be king or pauper either
I didn’t get to be star or pariah I mean
I’ve had to walk this fuzzy line and
learn to be perpetually in-between
I’m too neurotic to walk any other path
were I even committed to those acts

I’d love to have all the cool stuff
if I could do it without oppress anyone
but I know that’s not how things work
so I get by as I do
because I know you can’t get those things
without oppressing anyone
least of all yourself
do you?

least of all yourself
do you?
or have you gone too sane
to see it anymore?