The Equinox! in Everyday Ramblings

Happy balance of light and dark no matter which way you are going!

I was supposed to go for a training walk after work last night with S. but she had to cancel at the last minute and I thought, oh cool, I can go take pictures of the new red tulips that are now blooming in the stand of orange ones I took shots of the other day.

None of the pictures I took of them, and I took about 12 from about every angle I could think of, did them justice. Red is such a difficult color to get right and both these flowers have red in them. Still, imperfectly represented here, they are so pretty. Later, just up on the next block though I was able to get another imperfect shot, but still probably the best representation of daffodils I’ve managed in all these years.

That is the picture I put up on Facebook.

I was disappointed that S. couldn’t make it, I enjoy her company so, but she is busier than ever now that the parameters of her retirement have been laid down. She has many friends and as we get older, we all have needs of our community of friends and she is fully engaged in that.

I worry I spend too much time alone so was relieved to read yesterday that the health risks associated with isolation are more predominant when one is middle aged. As one gets into one’s 60’s they taper off a slight bit.

Most of the people I work with are so odd and dysfunctional that being on my own is much healthier than being with them!

I do get out in the world pretty much every day, but I appear to be in the space between those sustaining deep relationships where you chat with a loved one about the small moments of your day.

Tuesday, my caregiver class was difficult and challenging and I would so benefit being able to talk through what to do, how to make things better for the exhausted and profoundly uncomfortable caregivers I am often trying to help.

I do belong to a Facebook group for yoga teachers that teach older folks and sometimes caregiver issues come up there so maybe I will post something there and see if reaching out I can find some support and be able to offer some. My coordinator appreciates the care I bring to the classes I teach and I way I adapt and modify each week for who is in the room.

But I was thinking the other day that most of us who take on something like this have mentors or teachers that are available to offer support, encouragement, practical advice and how I don’t really have that.

The fact that I have a genetic tendency to distrust authority might have something to do with this. :)

My older sister’s editor finished and posted a long essay online, a remembrance of my sister’s life with many pictures this week. It was both difficult and wonderful to read.

Of course these two things are connected. My unfolding awareness of how isolated my days are and the loss of my sister.

I did reach out to both Dr. Bob and a therapist I used to work with this week but in the end it is not professional connection I need.

It is human.

I’ll figure it out, but in the meantime I intend to thoroughly enjoy spring and make the most of the life I have been given.

Which includes feeding the cats a snack right this absolute very minute! They have been all over me while I typed this. Rowdy boys.

Last updated March 20, 2015