It Is Done :-( in Life In The Now.

I was dwelling on things and sleeping a bit. For two weeks I haven’t been able to do anything except rack my brain with things other than the worst possible outcomes of every eventual out come to this.

Then in one moment I have an unborn child, within the next I don’t and the process is all so ‘clinical’.

It was all based in the building across from where we found out the info about my mums tumor and all i could think again was that, in one moment they are here and the next they aren’t.

It is all just done and life goes on. Today i was part of terminating a life and that will sit with me for a long time.

I never had an opinion on abortion before. I took it as a very logical, black and white process but the truth is that it isn’t, we set a ball rolling and that is it, all we can is watch it as it sends the pins flying.

I am so dissapointed in myself because my reasoning although sound, was purely motivated from fear and self interest, in all my life I have never ever done that and this entire event made me cave and not take responsibility for my own actions, instead I took a cowards way out and the result is a kid doesn’t get a chance and here I am getting to continue life like it never happened and the only impact that has been made is that in my own mind.

I need some sleep.
G