Fright + Edit in My new life, a book

Yesterday evening while texting on the phone with a friend I tried to intercept a sneeze. Oh man that was painful.
Why are you holding your stomach husband asked later on… because it’s painful I responded. It’s just above my stoma I realised.......... That’s when I got a fright; that’s a sensitive area. To bed with a paracetamol was the best I could think of. But meanwhile I felt guilty....... you stupid woman, why do you work so hard, can’t you be a bit more careful.
That’s my trap. When something goes wrong I punish myself even more by putting the blame on myself.
At the moment I do my best to be realistic, I’m not super woman, I’m allowed to make mistakes. Yes…difficult!
I went to my last lesson DP but before I went away asked husband to take a picture of my stomach; there was a lump. I e-mailed the hospital and included the pictures. Ever since I received a few mails: it might be a burst in the wall of the stomach; happens often they assured me. But because it’s painful they want to see me, preferably this week.
Husband is already worrying a lot, about me, my pain, the holiday.That’s his trap.

At the moment I’m waiting for the appointment office to call me. I’ve already cancelled the visit of a friend from Belgium for tomorrow and Thursday.

I can see the benefit too: being positive when everything goes well is very easy; it’s a challence when you’re unfortunate. I do my best :-)

BTW I succeeded in putting on just one picture.

EDIT
Today I had my first appointment. Next week I see the urologist.
There’s indeed a burst in my stomach wall where a part of my bowels got trapped last week, which caused the pain. Since then I feel better, much less pain.
Unfortunately there isn’t such a thing as a simple fix on this occasion. As long as my quality of life is reasonable, surgeons mostly prefer to do nothing because of my earlier operations in that area. I wear a brace again.
It was a reassurance however, to learn that I did nothing wrong, that about 75 percent of stoma wearers runs this risk. And the nurse didn’t see a reason NOT to go on our holiday. To be sure I’ll also ask next week.

Last updated March 16, 2015