sleeping beauty and alice. and fairy tales. and plato. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

this really doesn’t have much to do w/ my last entry other than it’s about my depression. so i’m sitting here browsing the webs at 4:50 a.m. and it just hit me. I feel like i’m falling. not like literally falling more the sensation of it. it’s that feeling I get when I get really depressed. who relates? I felt like this recently w/I the last yr. it’s like i’m in wonderland again the dark part. [as opposed to the glitter-queen-snorting-nutmeg-listening to bowie and Jefferson airplanes-part]. so yeah now i’m alice.

I just. I just want to sleep. all the time. to escape my depression. but being that i’m living w/ people now I’ve not been doing that. I only vaguely remember the last time I felt this way. ya know I want to be sleeping beauty [actually in one of the versions she’s raped. yeah fairy tales are dark
fore thy got all Disney-fied. nothing against Disney I mean I love it great company like the movies. I just prefer the dark I relate to it. spring awakening next to normal um phantom]. I want to sleep until all this is over. so wake me up when this is over. well certain things are over. the abuse for instance. I came to this realization a few yrs. ago. I’ve been abused. but it’s not happening anymore.

right so as I might have mentioned I love fairy tales. they’re so pretty and just idinno I like them. I think we’re all our own prisoners [I know I am] depression holds us hostage it does me. we’re all in a way like Rapunzel. and the witch [going w/ the story of ‘into the woods’] locking her away. but our ‘hair’ as it were has been taken away this time. that’s one way to look at it. the easiest way to get ourselves out. and a lot of us are like ariel. we want to explore and see the world and we collect things. um that’s really all I have for that.

Last updated November 17, 2015