Hard to keep it. Just sayin’.
It’s hard to say that writing hasn’t been going on, despite my lack of ability to keep up with this journal. I’m writing some deep shit that professors look at and are amazed by. OC register editor and professor at my college really liked one of the pieces I did for an interview session: a deep and intimate revealing of one of our students.
With that said, however, I did hold back during my interview.
Notwithstanding, I didn’t hold back in my writing. Same goes with my college writing course. I put as much detail and care into all aspects of the story, and it gets a lot of positive responses. I just wish I had as much time and dedication to put towards these entries.
However, seeing as I don’t have the luxuries of either at the moment, I’m hoping that some time down the line, I’ll be able to put as much depth into the lightest of things (i.e. this journal) as well as just lambasting any assignments that require deep writing on the fly.
I’ve kinda evaluated why I might be growing in such a manner. With my writing. I’m sorry if I sound a bit out of it, i just had a dance class where I stepped on a nail that was coming out of the wood, got a flat tire so I had to walk my bike all the way home, and had a workout session for my arms even before any of that happened. It’s been a helluvan evening. Yet, I’m here, writing, and trying to make sense of it.
Sense: I can attribute some of it to maybe my linguistics class. Learning that prepositions show where something is, determiners make a more pointed description of the subject, a qualifier does something along those lines, a subject compliment adjective describes rather than a subject compliment noun- yeah. All that shit.
So instead of saying the beach, I would say the cold beach. Or the very cold beach. Or the very fucking cold beach. Or the very fucking cold, I-wish-I-hadn’t-come-here-and-just-went-out-drinking,-but-my-girlfriend-wanted-to-have-a-picnic-on-this-goddamned- beach.
But I think that’s more than linguistics. I think, as much as linguistics makes me think about saying this in this manner, it’s much more than that. It’s deeper, but it’s simpler.
It’s being more human with my words.
Hell, I remember just 10 years ago I’d be writing up a storm with a bunch of shit words that I hardly knew the definitions of but used em like I was the fucking master of the wordsmithery. That was when I was young, and thought I knew everything.
Now that I’m older, and realize I know nothing, I think my language has changed as well. I’m not trying to talk down to people, I’m instead trying to level with em. Trying to paint as vivid a picture for them as possible without sounding like a dick doing it either.
Anyway, life has tried to hand me some lemons tonight, or as the course of the meal goes- we got our vegetables in the morning, and we got our fruit in the evening. I’m trying to look at it differently from what most of the colloquialisms might prescribe. They talk of lemons and bad apples and dark clouds with silver linings- I like to take the practical approach. What I’m trying to say is: sometimes you get a meal, sometimes ya gotta step through some shit to get back home. I just had a cowfield this evening to walk through, and that’s after having a decent harvest at the farm earlier in the day. I think I recall some similar Bible story- some dude getting good and bad shit happening to him, and he didn’t really make a complaint because he knew both of the scenarios were from the Lord. I won’t go so far as to attribute the Lord to the bullshit as well as to the glory moments- but I will say that it’s just the thing of life. Sometimes you strike out, sometimes you hit the home run. Whatever that home run might look like in whatever capacity you might be operating in. You getting all of these analogies yet?
We need to stop looking at days as good or bad- but we need to look at them as - days. Just days. Good things happen in them, as well as bad things. What if on Monday you find out you won the lottery, but on the same day your parents die, or your leg gets run over and they have to amputate, or someone pours some weird toxic crap in your eye and you go blind- does that negate the good of winning 300 million or so dollars? Is it no longer a good day because something bad happened? Good happens, bad happens. One over the other does not make it a bad day or good day either way. The day goes on despite what you or I may wish to call it. And so must we.
So why label it? Do we get some sort of benefit out of labeling it a bad day, or a good day? By labeling it a bad day, do you get the satisfaction of knowing that all other days that match up with this one are equally bad, or on a scale comparison with this, being better or worse than this one? Howabout the good day? Do you have now a scale to measure against this day, so you might know when you can smile, and take pride in life?
That’s not how it’s supposed to work. So what, you got fired? So what, you won the lottery? You got the shaft or you got that one in a billion shot- it doesn’t matter. The world turns, and you are still living, and that enough should be a reason to really reflect on everything and see how amazing that is in and of itself.
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