Written in Pieces #4 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

Early 2/25
So it’s come to this. One last day of the bar. THE BIG goal items pop up here. 200 Multiple Choice Questions. In preparing for this exam, I’ve answered almost ten times that many questions. In truth, the number of questions I’ve answered correctly is about only 6 times that many questions. But still… I’ve done the work, I’ve put my time in. But in the sleepless fear of failure, I reach for my laptop thinking “I can do more questions, I can do more review, I can do more flashcards.” So I log into the Kaplan website and start to drill for a moment before I realize… I’ve already plateaued. Whatever studying I do now is no more likely to help me than were I to not study. And sleep would be of much more value. So I close the laptop, close my eyes and keep whispering to myself over 115, get a 150…over 115, get a 150…over 115, get a 150…over 115, get a 150

Post Test 2/25
Sorrow Rage
When I first finished the exam, I wanted to die… I would have cried but I was too exhausted.

They don’t allow any computers, phones, or any type of communication device in the building on the MBE day of the test so the first time I’ve had to write since waking up has been now- at 6 pm; after both MBE sessions. The test was painful. Examinees are expected to take 1.8 minutes per question. I took 1.4. It doesn’t sound significant but… when you finish a 3 hour test in two hours… it makes you feel like you missed a lot. The first 100 question session? I’m somewhat confidant about 33% of my answers. The second 100 question session? I’m somewhat confidant about 40% of my answers. Which means… unless I get lucky or I’m a lot smarter than I think I am.... I got a score of 73. When I was trying to hit above 115 and trying for 150.
PREDICTION
If I had to honestly guess, very genuinely, what I think I got on the MBE today… I would put MONEY on.... I got a 113. I definitely believe that. Which is less than I did last time. And that pisses me off.

The whole thing kind of breaks down as follows
Score of 50: an intelligent adult out of high school would be able to score a 50
Score of 100: an intelligent adult with a college education would be able to score a 100
Score of 150: an lawyer should be able to score a 150 with effort
Score of 200: a master attorney worth millions should score a 200 with extreme luck

Seriously, I’d be writing this between depressed-sleep and rage-sobbing if it hadn’t been for the dog. When I got home, the dog was SO excited that I was staying an extra day that he freaked out, ran up to my bedroom, and started rolling around on it. I came upstairs (as he knew I would) and he stopped, looked at me, waited for me to sit on the bed and grab my laptop, then started rolling again… this time burrowing his face under my leg. No matter how epic of a failure one might feel, the love and excitement of a good dog can do wonders.

So my plan for tomorrow.....
(1) Drive back to Omaha
(2) Catch up on bookmarks, games, and masturbation
(3) Fill out the application for the next bar exam
(4) Call Kaplan to see if I can get any discounts since I already paid full price for their program once
(5) Call my dad’s Trust lawyer to see if/when my wife and I will incur any added tax liability this year
(6) Start creating Bar Exam Flash Cards in preparation for the summer exam.
and.. maybe.... maybe… prolly… get drunk.
Warning: I may be possessed of the urge to “live tweet” via ProseBox any or all of the above.