just stuck. and frustrated. in 2015: depression

depression talk.

I know that a lot of um. a lot of my depression not being as bad has to do w/ what i’m doing or. not doing. actually all of it does. they say one of the best things to do when you’re depressed is get out which. I can’t due [as in I really don’t want to not can’t] bc i’m so depressed! like it’s that fukin simple. I know it’s a process and sometimes. processes take a long time. and also it’s been really cold here like I said it snowed this weekend and so I don’t want to go out bc of the weather. or maybe it’s just an excuse. well it’s a valid excuse most people don’t want to go out in coldweather regardless. I don’t want to do as much due to my depression which means. I don’t want to drink as much as I did before last mon. the...........16th. like I still want to. maybe it’s weird to think this but not being motivated has its upside. I mean if I don’t want to drink as much then. righton. I know that looking this up means i’d be able to understand it. and then i’d be less frustrated. but I don’t have the motivation to do that.

I want to feel. ‘normal’ again. undepressed. which is all on me I’ve already gone over that. I just feel stuck and like this is all really slow. I want to sleep. although..........yesterday baking was one of the few things I felt like doing. didn’t do it.

Last updated July 17, 2015