details in Depression

I need a keyboard, I want to write a proper entry. But alas, my laptop is broken and it’s also 2am so there’s no hope in hell for me to get up to use my brothers.

I’ve got a few updates on life so thought I’d share. I think I’ll label them.

First date - tomorrow’s the day! I can’t believe I’m actually meeting this guy. I never thought I’d be able to get over my fears and work up the courage to do it. But I really like him so not doing it would just be unfair to my soul. I told my brother because I needed advice, he was very cute. I was talking to him and his girlfriend about it and they were really reassuring and helpful on things to talk about and what to do if it’s really awkward. Obviously told my best friend too. She got really excited because she knows I’ve been talking to him for so long that it needed to happen! I’m really looking forward to it. We’re just going out for coffee and chats but still, first meeting :3

Best friend - okay so about the last entry. My best friend has been kind of bitchy and annoying when it comes to going out. She goes out a lot with her college friends and used to invite me sometimes which was great. But the last month I haven’t gone out with her at all, so I suggest we do. She then says that she doesn’t think she had enough money left even though she said a few weeks prior that she’d go out with me soon. Like, fair enough she goes out with her college friends but like don’t favor them over me. I have feelings too. The way she words things can be very hurtful and can cause most of the problems. But I’m also starting my period so am a box of emotions right now too so that didn’t help. Anyway we sorted it out in the end. She said she was going to invite me out this coming weekend anyway (which I’m not sure is true but, hey, I don’t feel like questioning it). She also reassured me that she’d never like pick them over me. It’s just a different vibe going out with them (which kind of hurt, like what’s wrong with my vibe? I dunno, once again, had to be there). Okay so that’s sorted.

Hmm, what else....

Depression - still feeling the same and worse. These tablets aren’t really helping. Probably go back to the doctor within the week. Sleeping has been a bit better though so that’s good. But worried about how tired I am during the day.

Valentine’s day - went to my friend Lauren’s house and we pigged out and watched movies. A lot of fun. Watched the maze runner and omg it was fucking insane! I need to read those books, such a good story. Also the actors were so real, like not overdone or annoying. Very good performances

I think that’s all for tonight. Wish me luck for tomorrow, I’ll write about it on Tuesday :) x