Entry 15-02.15.45 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

It is almost too much to believe. I’ve put in 7 solid weeks of work to prepare for this exam. I will put in another solid week of work as well. But this is Sunday the 15th… as we often say about Law School and Bar Prep itself… No experience feels so long, yet goes so quickly. It is as if a time warp exists exclusively for these concepts that allows us to work for hours and hours while expanding our understanding by mere fractions… and then, in a flash, it is all over. And we must wait and pray, in hopes that such mere fractions were sufficient to secure our success.

I started relatively early today. 150 multiple choice questions. Real Property and Civil Procedure. Two areas where I expect myself to be a bit weak. I’ll admit, it was REALLY hard getting through the questions… and for reasons that had nothing to do with academia. It is freezing around here once again… so I had on a long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, blanket, and a boiling hot cup of tea to try to keep me warm while I spent five hours sitting still, reading/answering/and reviewing. Go away frozen winter!

Out of 150 questions about Real Property and Civil Procedure; I only managed to answer 69 correctly. Again… thank you for demonstrating my extreme lack of knowledge, but how does that assist me in doing better when the exam comes?!

After the completion of that particular unpleasantness, time to create a long and detailed outline of Real Property for Essay Studying. I am very curious (in a horrified way) how long this is going to take! However, I presume it will take far longer than I have left in the evening. Which sucks because there is still a lot I want to do. But that will be true at the end of every day until Monday the 23rd!

In many ways, if you’ll pardon the hint of the dramatic, this reminds me of some of the worst physical times I ever had. When the leg and back pain were so intense that it was a concentrated force of will to walk anywhere, even if it was just from my bedroom to the bathroom. Of course… in its way… that seems easier. Because I could take confidence and hope after each step; a clear definite evidence of progress. No such hope can be gleaned from my current process. There is no spectacular advance forward in practice quizzes and even if there were, there is no certainty that what is on the practice quizzes is what will be on the exam. I must continue onward. I must concentrate my remaining force of will to push ever forward this week, to tackle the week after with strength and confidence, and to steel myself for the news that I may yet have to do all of this again.

To Friends: Sorry for my lack of reading and/or commenting of late. Tuesday is my next scheduled “don’t go so hard on yourself” day so hopefully, I’ll catch up then!

This is an insane thought, but one that certainly persists. After this exam is over… I may well continue to study. Or at least continue to create study materials. It is insane because… one would think that I had endured enough punishment… but I feel compelled to do so because, if I do fail the exam this time, I have only one more shot to pass it. That being the case, I don’t want to waste any time preparing… even if that means studying for the two months before I know if I passed or not!