Requesting your opinion in Day to day life from a woman that turned 60 in Oct 2014 and who lives on a farm and Retired on January 2, 2016. I plan to do more sewing, work outside in the yard and just enjoy my retirement.
- Feb. 14, 2015, 7:41 a.m.
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- Public
Last night my home phone rang and I didn’t recognize the number but it had the same prefix as my cell phone so answered it. It was my DIL’s mom. I will call DIL’s mom Lee in this entry mainly because it is fast to type. ;)
So Lee hardly ever calls me unless she wants to “tattle” on what she believes her daughter and my son are doing on raising their kids, our grandkids wrongly. So on to the reason she called. She found out this week, probably yesterday, that the two grandgirls stayed home by themselves yesterday. The youngest, who is almost 4 stayed at the sitters at the unexpected cancellation of the school because of the unexpected snow. So this was the jest of the call. She is concerned that two girls stayed all afternoon by themselves and learned that on a couple of Saturdays they have stayed at their house while the parents were at work. In the middle of this conversation she also did/does not want me to say anything to anyone about her discovery and knows the grandgirls were not supposed to tell her they were staying by themselves on Saturdays. Lee wanted to know what I thought. Oh Geeze!!! I’m around10 years older than Lee. Not sure that makes a difference but I wasn’t as upset as she was about the thought of the two girls staying at home on Saturdays. They live in a good neighborhood. They have decent neighbors and as I relayed to Lee, I have noticed that both girls have matured over the last year. Yes they are still kids and my oldest grand daughter doesn’t turn 11 until next month. Am I happy about it? Not really, but I know that my DIL calls them throughout the day, the girls sleep in late, and depending on the hours my DIL is working she may not go in to work until 10 in the morning and my son gets home around 5. No one had told me the girls were staying home by themselves on Saturdays but they don’t have to. If I DID have major concerns and/or issues and since Lee swore me to silence, what could I do except worry myself to death, which I believe she is doing. She had called them yesterday afternoon and asked the oldest grand what they were doing. Mickey told her she was going to curl her sister’s hair with the curling iron. Lee told her not to as that was dangerous because she might burn sister with the curling iron and no one would be there. That statement blew me away as I would have been very happy they were not fighting and doing something they both enjoyed.
So your opinion: Am I being not concerned enough? And FYI the younger grand girl is almost 9.
Thanks for any thoughts on this.
Silent Echo/Quiet Storm ⋅ February 14, 2015
okay, here goes. i let my daughter stay home by herself after school when she was 6 years old. she unlocked the gate, went inside and locked the door. she called me as soon as she was inside the house. she knew not to answer the door and if she answered the phone she was to tell who called if she didn't know them that her mother was busy and couldn't come to the phone... call back later. she was fine. it appears to me that over time people have started babying children. protecting them from every little thing. not letting them grow up. keeping them little kids for way too long. i feel it's entirely up to the parents to determine whether a child is old enough or mature enough to be at home alone. i don't think a 10 year old is old enuf to be able to take care of an infant or toddler at home alone. i don't think more than 2 kids close to that age should be left alone. but, kids are able to do so much more than we give them credit for being able to do. i don't have a problem with your granddaughters being home alone. they appear to get along with each other and if there were problems, believe me, one would tattle to mom and dad and something would be done.
so there, that's my take on it. kids need to grow up. maybe if they did they wouldn't be living in the basements of their parents home at 24 years old.
take care,
middle age pearl Silent Echo/Quiet Storm ⋅ February 14, 2015
Thank you. I feel the same. Just wanted to see if it was just me. I see that it is not me.
aunty EM ⋅ February 14, 2015
I was baby sitting with neighbors' kids at 10...but that was another whole world. In these times, I'm not sure. Way too many weirdos out there... and other ways for kids to get into trouble.
elaine2 ⋅ February 14, 2015
Don't see a problem with a 10-year old home alone with a non-baby on rare occasions during the day as long as the parents have safety protocols in place--what to do in emergencies, how to answer the phone, and not to answer the door..
A curling iron? Nope. I don't think kids home alone should use any devices other than the TV or computer. No ovens, no microwaves, and certainly no curling irons. Burns, electrical fires, shocks, etc., are not something little ones should have to deal with.
I can understand the concern of parents when children are OUTSIDE, but kids are pretty used to their own homes by the time they are 10 and can follow rules. As long as this is not a daily thing, I see no harm. In fact, the older daughter is learning responsibility just like some of us older people did at that age.
GypsyWynd ⋅ February 14, 2015
I agree with your other noters. It depends on the children involved, how long they're going to be alone, is there a neighbor or adult they can call in case of emergency, do the parents check up on them periodically, do they know and will they follow the rules (i.e. not to open the door or leave the house or use the stove, etc.)
If your daughter in law's mother is so worried about it, she could volunteer to babysit.
Ragdolls ⋅ February 14, 2015
Some states have laws about this. Latchkey kid laws, I think they are called. Even in states without laws there have been instances where the children were placed with child protective agencies & the parents charged with child endangerment. Even if they are in a safe neighborhood, would they know what to do in case of a fire, bad storm, or other dangerous situation?
elaine2 ⋅ February 15, 2015
You are absolutely correct about computer use. Kids should not be using it unsupervised at that age. However, you can disable the Wifi by taking out the password and let them play the games you have downloaded. Sorry not to have been clearer.