Entry 15-02.14.44 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

Oh, the nightmares have come and they attack even in my waking state. It was easy to attack the Bar Issues subject by subject… but trying to tackle them properly, without knowing which subject is coming at you next, it rattles me. I’m still freaking out a little about that Property Essay from last night. I read the facts, I understood the questions, but when it came time to write an answer… I couldn’t think of a single intelligent thing to say. There were three fundamental issues… all three of them tripped me up and I simply thought, “Uh… property interest… devised to inheritors… mortgage remains… and…

So, once again I am freaking out. Worried beyond worried and concerned that all my work and effort have been left behind me somehow. I am questioning the system I paid $1200 for as… if I follow its suggestions, I should be taking practice quizzes. But… I don’t think I’ll be able to calm down simply answering questions I’m not confident about. I’ll likely stick to the Class Schedule for today with the presumption that I’ll hideously bomb every practice exam… but then I must turn those failures around by using the questions missed as a guide for how to craft my study materials. As valuable as practice is, practice alone is worthless. I need to understand the topics as well.

In preparation, I burned through a bunch of multiple choice questions. Whether it will help me substantively or not, procedural practice is good for me in general. So, since I’ll be doing 100 Question Blocks in the actual exam; I’m doing blocks of 66- 99… so far, topic specific so I can see the areas I really don’t know well enough. But… here’s a great reason why the bar exam can eat a dick:

THE REASON THE BAR EXAM CAN EAT A DICK: While grading my multiple choice questions; I came upon an answer that said “Correct Answer- A or B. Based on recent rulings, both answers would be arguably correct.” If both answers are arguably correct… why wasn’t there an option to chose both answers? Why try to force the issue of “select the best response” when your own grading book can’t do it. Eat a dick, Bar Exam!

And… I’m starting to think… maybe this prep course is bullshit. Or maybe they don’t know how to deal with me. Because they say my strongest category is Constitutional Law because on their Strengths/Weaknesses assessment I got an 85% in that category. Yeah? Well… I just answered 69 Con Law MBE questions… and only got 32 of them correct. Meaning I answered 37 wrong. Which, even for mathematically challenged persons, is obviously below 50%!

That is kind of how the whole day went all day! Quiz after quiz after quiz… Constitutional Law, Evidence, Real Property… fail, fail, fail…

So, all in all, not exactly inspiring confidence right now! But I’ve worked too hard to give up or give in. I just… have to figure out a way to study, understand, consume, and ace. I must succeed!

I needed an inspirational song for today. This was suggested and… yes. Not only because Queen rocks(!) but also because the recording of this song was so close to Freddie’s death and, despite the ravages of AIDS, Mr. Mercury rocked this recording session. Plus, the concepts discussed about a performer acknowledging that the show must go on despite whatever else is happening? Been there, experienced that. So… perfect song to inspire me to keep going!