It’s funny how we prioritize the things that really didn’t need to be prioritized, but the shit we needed to get done we totally blank on.
A few hours ago I was freaking out about finishing my readings for the week. I hadn’t done them, long story short. It wasn’t a matter of being overtaxed with my time or something came up and it was put on the backburner- no. It was a simple matter of me just not doing them. So noon rolls around, I’m still mid chapter and doing my annotations, and come to find, she wasn’t checking them today.
However, on the flip side, I did need 2 copies of my story. That part I completely forgot about. I had the one, and it’s the one that will get graded- but I wanted my professor to see my writing style and get a sense for how I go about a story. Didn’t get that chance today. So she’ll have to see it next week and make a determination.
Not that I’m too concerned about where I am today. I would like an honest assessment of where I am- but more on where I can take it. I know I’m no Stephen King or Charles Dickens. I’m late in the game if there ever was one. And I’m not too devoted to it as some of the masters have been. I’m not at my keyboard every night, typing away at the next American novel and furiously masturbating over its completion. That’s just not me. I have other things going on that keep my interests just so, wherein I’m not finding myself completely exhausted in one thing or another by the end of three months. It’s a wonderful existence. A busy one, but wonderful nonetheless.
To that I come to where we are tonight. For some reason, I’m tired on Fridays. I don’t want to do shit, my body feels like some sort of molasses covered in tar, and loaded with sleep pills. I want to pass out right now and call it a night. But I can’t because of acrobatics class. Did I mention my muscles tend to hurt on Fridays for some strange reason? There’s no reason, absolutely none, for my muscles to be felling this way after two days of rest. Hell, I had a short class on Wednesday. I shouldn’t be complaining about being tired, but for some stupid reason, I am. Is it all in my head?
To boot, I am writing this entire entry with my eyes closed. So there should be a few spelling errors here and there if the computer doesn’t catch them. For that I apologize. But I think my eyes are tired of looking at the glare of the screen, so I need to somehow type out my thoughts with looking at the screen as minimally as I can. Maybe when my acrobatics class gets going and I have some sweat pouring out of my system, I’ll have a bit more energy to get through the night. I do have protein bars somewhere..
Notwithstanding, many of my friends have been asking me to go out with them and have fun. I have fun already. They don’t see it that way, however. I take these moments to reflect on what’s been happening, as well as what could be happening in my future. I make the best of what life has offered me. I have a lot to be thankful for and have even more to work towards. If fun is happy, then I am happy, and thus fun is being had.
With that said, I’ll be signing off and maybe brewing some coffee before I head out the door. I haven’t had any caffeine today either, so that might be a major contributor. The freaking out this morning was taking enough energy. The rest will come as it needs, and go as the night carries on- hopefully. I would really hate to be grabbing a red bull before class- but if that’s what I am ultimately lead to, then I can hardly complain. Whatever gets me through the day.
Sucks though because I was once in a job that that was my livelihood and savior. Now I can hardly handle the slightest taste of an energy drink. maybe it was that pungent taste that woke people up more than anything.
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