Entry 15-02.09.39 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

14 Days left. Home stretch. Partly so that I can look back and convince myself I didn’t slack off during the last two weeks of study… I’ll go back to sharing the study.

I couldn’t sleep initially. Big mixture of panic, bodily discomfort, return of the itchies and other stuff. So I decided sod it and digested a 3 hour Wills & Estates video. Mostly covered things like Ademption, Abatement, Revocation, and Probate. (3)
Immediately following that, I did the checkpoint quiz. This topic isn’t expected to be attacked via the multiple choice (at least, that is what the class was guessing) but could easily be on an essay exam. Checkpoint Score: 50%

Afterwards, because SOME sleep is better than NO sleep; I tried to get at least an hour of shut eye.

After some sleep and some very reluctant getting out of bed, it was back to the tasks at hand. Due to the time constraints, the focus required, and everything else… I had been putting off a 6 Hour Graded Exercise. Two weeks before go time? Can’t keep putting it off. Time to hit it! (Of course, the concept of doing the six hour exercise freaked me out for some reason… an important enough reason to get it done but… it definitely made it an act of will power to sit and submit myself to it).

The six hour exercise was an attempt to establish how likely a person was to succeed at an UNCURVED (meaning straight scored) Multi-state Bar Examination (MBE… or the multi-choice portion). It was a One Sitting full day MBE… in other words, it would be like going in on Wednesday the 25th and not leaving or taking a break until I was finished with the entire day. That being said, I learned three things: (1) I thoroughly, though unconsciously, chewed my fingernails to absolute shit. (2) There were a total of 93 questions (or 47%) where, before I had even answered, I marked on the Study Area Guide “area in need of increased study.” (3) I suppose, rather fittingly, when I submitted the exam, I only got 93 questions (or 47%) correct. 35 of the questions I got right were on questions I had marked as Area in Need of Increased Study. Ugh. I’m cautiously hopeful, though. I have two weeks left to study, this showed me areas I’m not mastering yet… I can still buy it back. PLUS I don’t really know what to compare it to exactly. The last time I took the MBE officially, I scored a 115. But I was never told if that was my scaled score (curved to reflect points) or my raw score. Of course, on the other hand… my Diagnostic MBE a few months ago was a score of 50%… but for that exam, a 50% meant answering 75 questions right. So… I suppose, theoretically, I can count 93 as positive progress. Maybe? (6)

After the 6 hour simulated MBE, of course, there was a video attempting to help. A certain passing grade on this exam is between a 115 and a 120. A middle score with a possible pass is a 90 to a 114. So, I’m on the low end of middling. GAH! Looking through all that and then comparing it all to my diagnostic? It is really hard to keep positive. I mean… I know, I know. The MBE is only one day, I also have the MPT and the MEE and hey 47% unscaled isn’t fatal; assuming there may be up to a ten to fifteen percent swing; that could still jump up to a 57 or 62%! But… the two things I keep thinking (1) I need to do better than last time; I need to do better than 115. (2) I need to pass this time. I need to do better than 20% of the other test takers!

Despite my own fears and dissatisfaction, I knew that I’d already worked 9 hours for the day so it would be appropriate to take a break. This break is something I am forcing myself to do (against my own protest) because studying while emotionally upset won’t help. Further, I need to stir my mind. I just focused on all the law available to test for six hours straight. Before continuing forward… video games, and/or food, and/or physical activity are a must.

After my break (which involved mostly reading, catching up on political shenanigans, and trying desperately not to be consumed with my growing sexual frustration) it was time for videos!! LoL. Tonight? I know I will finish TRUSTS… hopefully, I can also finish Secured Transactions. Though, considering those two videos combined are 7 hours; I doubt it. Especially as I will be doing laundry while working on these videos.

Two Potentially Interesting Songs Stuck in My Head:
(1) Not even a super fan of this song necessarily, but it has been stuck in my noggin:

(2) This song has been rattling around in my brain since I first heard it. For some reason it just feels to me to either be a perfect explanation for how I usually feel or at least how I feel it is to be a lawyer. That being said… this video is flipping powerful and about an intensely important subject that we need to face and deal with:

After that video, which I admit- made me cry. I figured I’d share a funny just to lighten the mood: