Fucking tired. in Since OD is shutting down....

I honestly feel like I’m inches or seconds away from a fucking breakdown due to never getting enough sleep or time to relax. I’ve been so busy lately and it’s started to get to me. I honestly feel like I’m just going to break. I need to figure out how to balance everything so I don’t have to feel like this all the fucking time. It’s really getting old and I’m about to take a few days off of work which I can’t afford to do but I can’t continue working so much or I’m just going to crash and burn.

So that guy from the other night. The one that I banged? Yeah, completely douche. Basically he was wanting to use me for a free taxi and a place to stay as him and his girlfriend supposedly broke up and he had nowhere to go. Well, that’s not my problem and I’m not going to have some random dude living off me. Been there done that bought the fucking tshirt. He was bugging me yesterday wanting to know when I was gonna be off work because he was bored and was needing somewhere to go. Um, I’m not going to leave work early so I can sit in my house with some guy and entertain him because he’s got nowhere to be! He kept bugging me for a ride as he doesn’t have a way to get around and wanted me to take him to see if he could get his old job back somewhere. No. Just no. I don’t know where this guy thought I was actually going to go along with any of this but I didn’t. He was hinting around about staying here and then I told him my brother was going to be staying with me as him and his girlfriend were not getting along and I was also going to have a former roommate moving her stuff back in as well. It’s sad when you have to go to such lengths like this but nobody is going to live here with me. I don’t even like people spending the night unless it’s my niece because I don’t like to have to worry about people stealing from me or having to share my bed. That’s why I told that piece of shit to leave the other night. I was pissed that he ate a shit ton of my food, drank almost all of my alcohol that I’d been saving, and then orders pizza and doesn’t ask me if I want any. I don’t know where the fuck these people get off treating me the way I do but I am just done allowing them into my life. I don’t want to be alone but if this is the only kind of people that I can find, I’m better off alone.

I’m waiting for my niece to go to sleep so that I can. I am so tired that I honestly want to start crying. I don’t want to have her tonight but as usual, I don’t have a fucking choice. My brother helped my friend hook up my deck so therefore I’m indebted to him to watch his kid even though he really didn’t do anything. I paid my friend about $70 to hook up my deck and he didn’t even do the subs, probably because it took him about an hour an a half to do the deck and what not so I’m gonna have to wait until who knows when for the subs to get hooked up. I may call around and see how much it would be to just have it done professionally as I’m impatient and can’t wait forever for him to do it. I’m happy to at least have the deck in so I can actually listen to my cd’s and my flashdrives.

It’s been an emotional couple of days for me as I had to have my old car because the new one had to get fixed and it was just so hard driving it. I took a shit ton of pictures and really wish I could have kept it. I just wish I could have kept it but I refuse to put myself in a vulnerable position to get fucked over again.