Update, With a Video in 2015

Pregnancy is hard. It always tricks me with it’s cute snuggly babies and rewards of being a mom leading me to forget about the struggle of the first 9 months.

It’s almost as if time has stood still since I found out last week. Time was flying! It was hard to imagine that we had been in Georgia for 18 months, and now I can’t believe it’s only been a week since we learned we’d be adding a third baby.

First of all, let me say that I am so tired. So very, very tired. And I do not feel like I am sleeping nearly enough. I need to correct that, and somehow sleep in this morning. I feel like a lot of pregnancy symptoms are advanced, or at least exaggerated for me at this point. The exhaustion seems out of control. I am dizzy frequently, and began feeling hypoglycemic early last week. My breasts are already spilling out of bras, and peeing has become a sport. Perhaps its because it’s my third time around and my body already knows the drill and therefore resorts back into it easily? Or did Salem get her prayer answered and there are two babies in there? Rational mind says I know that the latter is a very small chance, but irrational pregnant mind is convinced it’s true.

Anyway, I know that i shared Scott was nervous about telling everyone I was pregnant. And his nervousness spread to me. I have never been worried about miscarriage before, and have always said that even if it did happen (which I never believed it would) I would want people to know so that I had support and love to get through it. But Scott’s immediate wish for privacy because he was nervous about it made me panic. I don’t believe there is room in life for fear, I think it becomes a breeding ground for all the wrong that can come, and so his thinking it, made it real to me that it could be a possibility. Nothing has been out of the ordinary, other than a positive pregnancy test 5 days before my period was supposed to show up. But I was seriously battling thoughts all day, every day last week. I found myself praying all day and extremely preoccupied in my thoughts by it. I came clean with Scott about it on Sunday, and the thoughts got better. They are not as present, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about it.

So with that being said, I think that is where the feeling of time stopping comes from. I don’t have my first doctor’s appointment until March 3rd. I have to wait that long to start feeling connected to the baby, rather than the idea of the baby. I took another pregnancy test on Monday. I felt stupid doing it, but I needed to see another positive test now that my period is actually missing. It made me feel better, and I haven’t even told anyone that I did it. So, welcome to my secret.

Ian is having attachment issues. All the sudden he is unable to sleep through the night alone. And when I express to him that he needs to be a big boy and stay in his bed, he tells me that he doesn’t want to be with me, he wants to be with the baby. He doesn’t want to cuddle with me, he wants to cuddle with the baby. Which is adorable, but is also a bit of a problem. I have about 8 months to get it completely corrected, because it will not be safe for him to crawl into our bed in the middle of the night once the baby is here. Will this battle with him to stay in his own bed ever end!?

Salem has a new accomplishment for me to brag on! I’m not sure if I shared, but she has been struggling this school year with reading. They school has had her going to EIP to assist her. It was a tough pill for me to swallow, because I know she is so smart. And probably because I have always loved to read and write. So last quarter she had a C in reading, and this quarter she moved it up to an A. A high enough A in fact, that her final grade for the Semester was an A! And yesterday the school sent home a letter to let us know that she has improved so much, that they are moving her out of the program! I am so proud of her, but most importantly, she’s proud of herself and her confidence is soaring!!!

Here’s our latest video!
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