from dec. 14th to. now. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

um wow. it feels like a lot’s happened esp. today. [which of course i’ll get to after more stuff happened never really catching up cause things are always happening].

uh. so Jessica my former mentor moved. to Michigan. she moved in between thanksgiving and the other holidays. oh she’s also pregnant. I’ve not heard from her since before she moved. I shot her an email wishing her happy belated holidays. i’m still not in a good place w/ her moving and everything. she was like a sister to me.

the holidays were ok from what I recall. I got 2 meaningful gifts. one was given by my dad a glass blue bird [the color’s blue] that had been my maternal grandmother’s. I love birds. it’s at my mom’s. and my sister gave me a teddy bear which is also. at my mom’s. I got a few gift cards [iTunes and starbucks], a cd from my dad lyle lovvett.

um...........I have a new mentor Alexis. we meet on Mon. 4:30 - 7:30. she’s 25 works at the Joshua school. she’s cool easy to talk to not at all reserved which Jessica was. we’ve met 4, 5 times. gone to the mall, target. we always get something to eat. and we just talk.

oh i’m seeing what I refer to as an ‘emotions dr’. dr. dumke. we’ve only met once one on one. she’s cool, nice. no problems yet. it’s something I’ve been meaning to do for awhile. I just hadn’t been ready as I am now. and also no one pushed me to. it’s also really terrifying. I mean...........opening up talking about my issues, my past. we’re not v. far yet. prior to this yr. i’d been preparing myself, writing. like actually writing about my stuff not typing. she has a bit of experience working w/ people who have ptsd. she knows I have it but we’ve not gotten to why yet.

um. I know there’s more............it could take awhile.

*oh i’m also seeing dr. davis a meds dr. right now we’re just discussing meds i’m not any yet.

*I might’ve mentioned this. my sister got out of rehab last month. we had dinner on new year’s. oh my aunt was in town for the holidays. we went to xmas eve service at my grandparents’ church that was nice.

*my mom’s had 2 shows they were good. and she had a banquet. er I mean her choir did. for thanksgiving we went to my cousin’s he’s getting married in May.

*my parents went to india in.............Nov. I think it was.

*on the weekends I’ve been watching lifetime movies. there’s only so much I can take of them. I’ve also been reading a lot as my computer er. I was unable to get online at my house. and then I ...............uh. was using my mom’s computer for a bit and now I have a new one it just came this wk.

*I saw ‘into the woods’ and ‘night at the museum’ the last one w/ my mom. I want to see ‘big eyes’.

*we recently had a house meeting. ‘we’ being amber, Hannah, Stephanie and I.

*evan and I are the same as we’ve always been. he spiked out recently we argued but he’s alrite now. I mean he’s been homeless [for the 3rd, 4th time] for awhile. he was living w/ his brother and his brother’s wife and then that didn’t work out. there was this one thing [now I don’t know what] the wife really didn’t like about evan. and so he left. prior to that his mom came and visited them.

*my sister who’s out of rehab [i’m probably repeating myself] stops by at my parents’ every other day or something. she has memory problems from the drugs.

*I had a meeting today w/ amber, Hannah, my mom and Jennifer f.

*I recently told dr. davis I was raped. alexis knows and so do the ptsd hotline people.

*I still miss the hell out of Pat, my best friend who passed 2 yrs. ago this. er next month.

*I’ve been reading a lot as I wasn’t able to get online on the computer I had. and I now have a new computer. I used to read a lot. and then I discovered the internet and tv.

Last updated April 10, 2015