Things on my mind in 2015

So many things going on lately. The past week or so has been the craziest, most stressful emotional roller coaster of a week I’ve had since my dad died.

My grandfather was put in the hospital around Christmas with pneumonia in one lung. He’s....not in the best of health already, and that put a ton of strain on his heart. He was in the ICU, and then finally moved to a rehab center. He’s improving, but in the process they discovered that he has prostate cancer, in addition to several other things; most notably advancing Alzheimer’s. We....aren’t really expecting him to make it the rest of the year.

My family’s doing okay, all things considered. In the the span of… less than two years, my dad died of liver cancer, my uncle (my dad’s younger brother) of lung and brain cancer, my grandmother (maternal) died of Alzheimer’s and old age, and now my grandfather (paternal) is declining pretty rapidly. And my brother and I both came out of long term relationships ending. But my younger brother, my mom, and I are all focusing heavily on health, and just…getting in a better place. We’re making progress.

I’ve been making good, sizable changes to my eating habits, and especially cooking a lot more. It’s been good for…about two weeks now. It’s something I’ve done on and off before but never stuck with. The stress of the past few days has had me too tired and so....I backslid some, but nothing too serious. But that’s something that should stick well for me. The next step will be to get myself physically active again, which needs to happen in a big way. Plus I’m way overdue on a dental checkup (I have a cavity and cracked crown that need to get fixed) and an eye exam (by about two or three years).

I have been writing a lot in a paper journal, and that’s been my main outlet. It’s certainly been helpful, and now that I have some down time, I’m going to carry some of that over here. I’ve been brainstorming a lot for my fiction writing, but I just haven’t made the time, or found the energy, to really devote enough time to actually writing some of it out beyond ideas, lists, and such. But that’s coming.

My best friend is in a messy situation, and that’s the main source of stress lately. She’s… okay, all things considered. It’s a relationship problem (or several related problems), and they are trying to work things out. But it’s… taken a huge toll on her. I’m actually down in Orlando right now with her, trying to help her get some rest and recharging.

I’ve been seeing someone at home for the past....six weeks or so. Not that serious yet, and I’m not sure how serious it could really get. For one, she’s 10 years younger than me, and there are some strong personality differences. But, there are also ways in which we complement each other well. And we’re enjoying each other’s company. For now, that’s enough for me. I don’t think I have the energy or focus for more than that.

I’m also thinking about writing some letters to certain people… as a way to keep my writing flowing, to reconnect with some people I should’ve kept in better touch with, and as a way to..apologize for not being a good enough friend for awhile. We shall see how that goes.

For now, a shower and getting ready for dinner before my friend gets home from work. We’re going out for barbecue tonight, and then I’ll hopefully get some more writing, or reading, done while she works on schoolwork. And unwinds from a long long day at work and the stress of what’s been the longest week of her life....