I just need to bitch. in Since OD is shutting down....

Ok so that guy that I banged it down with came over last night. He had ordered pizza the night before and didn’t eat it all (didn’t off me any) so he asked last night if he could come get the rest. I felt like this was extremely selfish and just completely ridiculous but I said yes just because I wasn’t going to eat it. He comes over, spends the whole time looking at Facebook connected to my Wi-Fi and then warms up his pizza and heads out. I was sitting in my chair and notice him in my fridge grabbing a bottle of water which he took with! He doesn’t bother to ask and I’m just completely annoyed that this person was just a mooch both times he’s been over here and he’s not coming back! I don’t know where the fuck I find these people but every time I try and expand my social life, I deal with this kind of shit! Either I just attract shitty people or I have a sign on my forehead telling people to come use me and take what they can get!

I’m really just over shit right now. I am pissed that this guy didn’t tell me he had a pregnant girlfriend, used me for a piece of ass and then tells me last night that he basically fucked me because he was drunk and then said something about my weight! I know I’m big but for someone to outwardly say things about my size really hurts. I’m just blown away at how mean people are and for no reason. I could understand if I did something to deserve it but I don’t. I was really hoping that this dude and I could be homies but he just wants to use me and I’m not going to let that keep happening. God dammit. All of this just makes me so mad.

It’s my morning to sleep in and I’m not sleeping in. I don’t know why but it’s just not happening. I’m probably going to take a nap here soon though. I need to call my car salesman and ask him about my car because I’ve noticed some shit that I need to know if it should get looked at or not.

The guy from like 6 hours away still hasn’t texted me and probably won’t. I’m very angry that he said for me to give him a call when I grow up and I think that was pushing the line. I don’t see how I need to grow up all because I told him that I didn’t think he was single because he never answers when I call and sometimes takes a really long time to reply. He said in his voicemail that it was me who wanted a FWB which is completely true but I make a lousy fuck buddy. I don’t know how to differentiate from being a girlfriend to just fucking someone. He would always tell me that he missed me and I was confused because I didn’t think you told a potential fuck buddy that you miss them. I guess I just don’t really get how this works so it’s probably good that things didn’t work out.

Honestly, I don’t care about having a sexual relationship with someone. I just want someone for companionship and someone I could plan nights out with. I was hoping it would be him but now that he’s shown me how mean, rude, and heartless he can be now I don’t care to talk to him ever again. It’s just too early on in this relationship for things to already be getting so ugly. If we can’t get along now than I can only imagine how things would be if we kept trying!

I’m just happy because now I get to work all day tomorrow and not have to worry about getting off to hang out with him, I can just stay at work making money. I’ve realized I don’t care about having much of a life outside or work, school, and my niece. It just takes way too much fucking energy to try and maintain relationships and I’m just not up for it. Even the thought of going out to eat with my friend on Friday makes me tired. I just don’t fucking care to try with people anymore. It’s honestly easier to deal with the loneliness factor.

And with this guy that left the nasty voicemail, I did see some similarities between him and my ex where if I got upset with him, he became a complete asshole and he wanted things on his terms. That was already about to piss me off. I was also annoyed that I didn’t hear from him all day yesterday because apparently he was pissed at me for not answering his text the night before! I seriously had to blow up his phone before he would respond and tell me why he wasn’t talking to me! WTF! I also don’t get how it was okay for him to tell me that he hearts me, misses me but then when he didn’t answer the phone, I wasn’t supposed to get mad?!?!?!?!?!?! UHGH, so glad I’m done dealing with this person!!!!

Anyways, I have more to talk about but I need to get a nap. More later!