Relationship-good! (Haven't seen that in a while have ya!?) lol in 2015

I don’t know if its because all the crap that has happened to us this year (lol) or what… but Chris and I haven’t fought yet this year. That is HUGE. I mean we’ve had our little annoying things but all in all, we are pretty good. Lets see how long before a huge blow out, shall we? We haven’t fought since xmas. Xmas was a big one though, with my whole family kind of getting a front row seat to it, so maybe that changed something? lol… I hope so.

The thing is, I’m enjoying his company, we are laughing together again, we are spending time together watching netflix and hanging out…which is something I think that stopped, and perhaps thats why we drifted apart (among a shit load of other things)… I feel like… I dunno, I miss him when hes gone now and I would much prefer to be chilling out at home with him on the couch than anything else.

Which I didn’t even THINK about for all of 2014. I had a shit attitude towards our relationship too, though. I had the attitude like I didn’t care if he stayed or went, like if he wanted a divorce I would be happy, if he left, then whatever. Which WAS how I was feeling. I really really disliked him.

The problem is I think with me, is that when I let people (ie. him) in, then I’m giving him a chance to hurt me. If I hate him and pull away from him and act like I had been acting, then nothing can hurt me, right? A lot of us act like this. But thats a shitty way to act. Tryin to avoid dem feels. lol

Anyway, this wont last I’m sure. But for now, I’m happy. I really truly think we are ok right now…

Maybe I’m leaning on him more than I used to because my mom is gone. OH, I still haven’t even talked about that yet.

She decided to move to the city, and come home for 3 days a week to work. Shes renting a place there. This might explain why shes been the shittiest gramma ever. I know I don’t talk much about it but lately I can’t even get her to watch the girls at all, ever. Then she dropped that bomb on me that shes moving… I’m likely just trying to avoid all that and perhaps putting focus on my own relationship because of it. Oh well. Avoid avoid avoid.

Kristen <3