continuation in Depression

Saw the best friend yesterday. Met up with her before she finished college for the day. Saw her college friends and they asked me to go on the night out. Think that opened my friend’s mind a bit because she realized how much I like them and they like me. She said if I still want to shed like for me to come. I know I made it sound really bad in my last entry. But over text I get extremely paranoid and over think everything. In person it was a lot easier to talk about it. Anyway it’s all sorted out. I still feel like absolute hell though, but that’s nothing to do with her. I hate being this size. I’ve been really good with my eating since Saturday though so I’m going in the right track, it just takes a while and I’m impatient. I hate feeling like a whale and just being so repulsed when I look in a mirror. I wish I was slim. I know some people will say that that won’t make me happy, but it’ll certainly help.