Work, got my nails done, kids! in Since OD is shutting down....

Ok so I ended up working about 10.5 hours yesterday. I worked 10:45 to 4pm and then 4:30-8:30 at our other location. I made about $82 in tips which isn’t bad but it was the craziest fucking night. Then, my check is only about $30 short for rent which is really good news but I’ve put in some extra hours so I’m sure my rent will go up again because any extra will go to bills of course. I have been working as much as possible lately which hasn’t been as much as I want because business has been slow and probably will be until people get their income tax back.

All I wanted this week was to get my nails done which I did this morning. I got home last night and couldn’t sleep so I tried to do my taxes online (which didn’t work out because I couldn’t tell what was what) and just couldn’t fucking sleep. I think it’s just me being excited to be off today or something. I planned to sleep in but that didn’t happen either so I was up and showered by 9:30 am and then decided to get my nails done. I planned to get some other things done but then I got called in. I only made like $19 but I was okay with it because I only worked 4 hours and then got to get my niece when I left. I took them some food and then we went to Walmart and got some things. I got her some new jammies and 2 new outfits. She got a Frozen themed nightgown that she was just over the moon for and hasn’t taken it off since we left Walmart.

I watched my manager’s 3 kids for like 3 hours tonight. I’m not sure why (I guess I’m still trying to be too nice and didn’t think before I spoke) and the whole way home I was trying to come up with a reason to get out of it but ended up doing it just because I knew it wouldn’t be all night and I wanted to meet her kids but I really don’t plan to watch them again. It turned out to be them 3 and then her niece as well so I had a total of 5 kids so things were getting really noisy at my house and I just couldn’t believe how wasteful they were being! They went through about a half gallon of milk because they all stirred in chocolate syrup and then didn’t drink it so I had to throw it out. I’m just beyond irritated and that’s the last time I try to be nice. It was also bullshit that they apparently didn’t have dinner before they came so I also had to feed them and they all wanted something different so I went through a can of ravioli, a can of mandarin oranges, a few hot dogs, some cheese, some ice cream and some yogurt. Ugh, never again.

Anyways, things have been going good lately except I’m back to not eating or exercising because there’s not enough hours in the fucking day. I never get to eat so by the time I do, I just shove whatever crap I can find into my mouth and I’m always in a hurry because it’s bedtime and I need to get laid down and sleep so I can get up the next morning. Tonight though my blood sugar was starting to drop because it’s the first time I was able to take insulin and my body reacted in a negative way. I’m scared I’m going to get sick (diabetic sick) because I’m not taking care of myself. It’s hard when I’m always at work, school, running errands, taking car of my niece, doing homework, paying bills, or trying to sleep.

I know what I need to do but it’s becoming impossible for me to stay consistent. I’m also waiting for that diet pill to come in and it’s making me really mad that it’s taking so long. It got ordered on the 12th which was 13 days ago! My med lady said that it could take another week or two. I also worry that it won’t work and that I’ve spent all this time anxiously awaiting for it for nothing. Fuck, all of this just really sucks. I’m tired of being so big and I fucking hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I literally am at my wit’s end but just don’t know where to go from here. \

Anyways, it’s super late and my niece gets up way too early. More tomorrow.