Last One For The Day, I Promise - 01.09.15 in Your Face

Anxiety has settled somewhat, and it’s only periodic little bouts. Continuing to try and talk myself down and it is somewhat successful.

M surprised me by ordering a copy The Neverending Story for me. I’ve never read it, and am really looking forward to it.

Also, I get paid by Solicitor #1 today, and although it’s a moderate to small sized check, once I top up the cash I carry in my pocket (I maintain a $40 balance), I can afford to leave $24 in my secret stash, and still put my usual amount into the joint account. $24 ain’t much, but it’s nice to be able to put something in there.

It has been a costly few months, and M and I were just talking about how the spending has finally slowed. We were taking advantage of sales + coupons over the holidays so we could get thermal underclothes, sweaters and snow boots cheap. We also needed a new bag of dog food - much cheaper if we buy the 50lb bag, but obviously a bigger layout at the time. Then there was the new car battery. The slow cooker (which went on a bigger sale, we we returned and then bought again even cheaper). Curtains and mops and shit for the apartment. Furniture and the tv we bought off our old housemate. So much spending. I am grateful for the things we have, but I am glad to see more money staying in our bank account. This is what we have waited years for - the chance to both be working, and to watch the bank balance creep up, instead of flatlining.

I’m really quite cold and I have to decide whether to walk to the library (and freeze on the way, it’s a decent walk) or to rug up and plant my ass in the car to study. If I get really lucky, Solicitor #1 will go home and I can stay in the office with the heat on. I need quiet, quiet, QUIET to be able to absorb what I’m reading. I don’t think I’ll be so lucky, though. She still has some work to do.

Anyway - thanks to anyone who bothered to read my three entries today. Sorry for the rambling, but it really did help me through the day.