Vagina in Laughing in Circles

If they can't touch it, see it, or explain your symptoms, and you just happen to have a vagina - chances are the very first diagnosis you can expect is 'anxiety disorder', 'early menopause', or 'depression'. It was true for me back in my 20's when vestibular issues took over my life and it became unreasonable to entertain the notion that I had suffered nearly a dozen cases of labyrinthitis in 6 months. Finally, the GP decided that perhaps this was hormone related, and sent me to a gynecologist. I was on my way to a firm VAGINA diagnosis.

A quick trip to the paper-lined table, heels tucked into the stirrups, the doctor did his thing, hmmm'd and aaaaah'd, ripped off his gloves and declared that I must be suffering from depressive disorder based on the fact that I was anxious about always being dizzy.

Back then, I was easily intimidated by white coats - and I took him at his word. My exact thoughts were, on my way home, "Oh my God, I've lost my mind! Whatever will I do?!" I found myself a counselor who was glad to speak with me at length about my life, my views about this and that, and my dizziness. Determining that I was not suffering from any form of depression or anxiety, the counselor suggested that GYNs should stick to what they know best, and leave the 'shrinking' to the professionals.

Thirty years and many support boards later, I have yet to meet the man who has been told that his symptoms were clearly related to the state of his penis. Oh, relax! I'm just saying!!

This being said - I have overcome my reverence of doctors, realizing that they are human and make judgements based on their life experiences and prejudices just like the next guy. I have also learned that the very best advocate for my health care is....me.

Long past the VAGINA diagnosis, I recently met with a new audiologist who ran a wiiiide range of tests. The goal, this time, was to make a decision for or against Meniere's Disease. The good news is they are confident that we can rule out yet another vestibular disease with a really crappy prognosis. More good news is that all of my ear parts are functioning with the exception of some vestibular weakness in my left ear, and some issue that could explain the hyperacusis (sensitivity to sound) that is causing dizziness. A CT scan is in my future.

This is when Ear Doc stepped in and whisked me off to another room to check my gaze stability and perform a Romberg test. The first, I failed with flying colors. Failed badly enough, I just had to laugh. When I was finally able to focus enough to indicate a correct response, the doc laughed and said, 'Congrats!You just noticed the oncoming semi!' to which I replied, "YEAH, BABY! I SUCK!!!"

And had I been at a sobriety check point, I would have Romberged myself right into an overnight stay in a drunk tank.

So basically, all the little bones and hairs are transmitting all the information to Brain, and Brain, who has apparently taken up another language, takes one look at it all and says, with a very heavy, French accent, "Feuk yew, Madame - hew ahr on hewr own!"

Ah yes...the husband!

I started to explain that the tests showed all parts of my ears were working, but before I could tell him that there's a glitch in the transference of information, he said, "So...it's psychological..."

The doctor says his leg isn't broken - and the concussion is mild.