Circle of Life. in Silent world

There’s so much I want to write… Christmas was very different. I will write about Christmas soon. I came here to write about something else.

Mama ( shayeas mom) were out of it on Christmas Day, she seems hazed. She went to sleep that night and then at 4 am ambulance came and jumped her. She stopped breathing and her heart stopped. But she came back and they took her to Bronson.

Her mom was awake and explained to us what happened in great detail. Shayeas brother was the one who called the ambulance. 3pm came, she went to sleep and again, stop breathing. Drs and nurse put her on breathing machine and moved her to ICU. Shayea called me in panic and told me to come right away. When I arrived (3:30p), her mom was in coma -state, which means similar to coma but it’s not. She had IV with fluids, medicines and breathing machine. Her face were swollen, and so is her body. Her legs are very white and cold.

She have been battling with CHF and COPD for about a year. Alas dr said she’ll be just fine if she follow the diet. We never knew how bad it was.

Shayea and I spoked while we were in the room, waiting for her mom to wake. She said her mom took a lot of pills, been depressed and have been wanting to die for quite a bit. She have so much pain and thru a lot of stress, and wanted easy way out. However either of us thought this is what will happen. We both knew she wanted to die at home.

We sit all thru the night and then dr came at about 11pm and said that there’s no change. Her body shutting down since 3pm. Kidneys failed. Her heart rate had slowed down, and missed couple of beats, sometime it went flatuance. But it always come back. She cannot breath on her own, basically the machine is what keeping her alive at this point. He gave us option to let her go. Within an half hr, she was gone.

Shayea is wrecked. So am I. We are facing a lot of things to do. Places to go, people to call. Sigh I am beyond exhausted.

She was like a mom to me, I call her Mama. I knew her since I was 2.5 and it’s hard for me as well it is for Shayea. But I cannot imagine what’s it like to lose the only parent you have.

Rest in peace Mama ( she was 59)