C-Section Bound in Inside My Head

My c-section is scheduled for 12/26. I’m glad it won’t be on 12/24 which was a possibility because I’ll be exactly 39 weeks then. As someone who works in a hospital I can tell you that complication rates are higher in the summer months and on/around major holidays. People don’t want to be at work and the ones who have to work are usually ignoring their patients because they’re in the break room eating snacks that everyone brought in. The hospital runs on skeleton crews and stuff gets missed. So unless this baby decides to show up early (please God, no) we have a birthday all set for our little one.

I’m nervous and excited at the same time. I’m excited to finally meet my baby. I’m terrified of being a horrible parent. I’m excited and sad that the pregnancy will be over. I don’t know if this will be my last pregnancy since I had so much difficulty conceiving. I’m terrified of having complications from the surgery. I hate pain; I’m a huge coward and have a low threshold.

My sister told me that c-section babies have higher rates of respiratory difficulties. I’m so scared that something is going to happen to it. I just want the baby to be ok. It’s moving less today than usual. I started Googling my symptoms and started reading stories about cord accidents and still births. The baby isn’t even here yet and I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack.

My mother arrived from Long Island yesterday and Mike is off for three weeks starting 12/24 which helps a bit. First time parenting jitters I guess.