to the tune of Allentown in song parodies

  • Dec. 20, 2014, 1:04 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

Billy Joel once heard of Allentown
while one of his chauffeurs drove him around
his accountant needed some more hits
that thirteenth yacht
was a money pit

well Billy Joel was known to all his friends
for writing shit songs about popular trends
would he worry for the dignity
of the working poor
or a fading city
when he could make a mint off Allentown?

yeah, the AM waves would swallow it down
as long as there’s DJs to paaaaaaaaaaaay

well he thought long about Allentown
how the crassness of pop knows no bounds
because the middle-class loves ruin porn
just mention Detroit
mention Dearborn

there’d be no protests, there’d be no fuss
record buyers thinking “glad that’s not us”
no they never would have empathy
just a crap song
and empty pity

so he sat and he wrote “Allentown”
in a mansion on Long Island Sound
and he must’ve felt a fraud that daa-aaa-aaa-aay-aay

a nuanced look could have raised their profile
but he tarred them all with one brush with style
and he made a cardboard cut-out of that place
he threw their real struggles in their face, oh oh oh

everything’s still bad in Allentown
ain’t no dumb song gonna turn it around
but real people they will try todaaaaaaaay

and it fucking pains me to saaaaaaaaaaaaaay
that he made a mint of Allentown


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