PM, RD, CK in Book One: The Not So Daily Briefs 2014

I honestly think this is somewhat unrelated from last night but… today I am in one of my all-consuming-rage modes and the best thing is… these usually have no explanation. Actually… no, I’m pretty sure this does relate back to last night… at least a little.

So, as I often do try to think of things from other people’s perspectives (at least when I can) I tried to think about what my wife’s journal entry from last night would be. What I came up with was: Tonight sucked! I hate my job and THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS they don’t schedule anyone in Photo, Electronics, or Toys… how can this company survive with such batshit decisions? Even worse! When I came home, my husband was already in bed. He was asleep when I went to work, he shouldn’t be in bed right now! The dishes weren’t done, he had study materials out, and the toilet looks awful. Does he do anything around here?!

Granted… that isn’t the least biased concept, but that is basically what it would have been. So, yeah… I try to be understanding. But… frankly, it pissed me off that she wanted to hold her job out the way she did. She hates her job but has turned down frequent offers for a better paying state gig one of my friends keeps offering her. The people that create her schedule are absolute dipshits but just because she works for morons doesn’t mean her schedule and expectations are the only ones that merit. She leaves for work around 1 pm, works for idiots, comes home at ten and stays up until 2am. Meanwhile, my average days requires me to be IN court at 9, at work until 4, then study for the bar exam and make sure to work out at least 3 times a week because my wife calls me fat. I don’t know… frankly, right now- I am honestly trying to stay angry. Why?

Angry is a motivator… and mix my tired, my pain, and my day… I need/needed a motivator. When you add the fight my wife decided to have with me at midnight to the fact that, when she did come to bed at 2:30 she needed me to rub her sore hips/head/neck/back… I didn’t get to sleep last night until 3:30… and I had work in the morning. So I got about 3 1/2 hours of sleep before going in to work… sleeplessness increasing my ever constant Fibro pain…

Work was, unexpectedly, insane… of course!

As soon as I got in, I had to draft an emergency judicial request form because one of the inmates in Programs experienced a death in the family. So we had to petition the circuit judge for a brief pause in their restrictions to attend that funeral.

Of course, I had to draft that bitch lightning fast because I had court at 9. THAT was an experience. Lots of big drug busts this week apparently, as the collected weight of all the drugs discussed today was 43 grams of cocaine, 19 grams of marijuana, and 3 lbs of meth. For those that know, 3 lbs of meth is a lot of meth! The whole while we are in court, I have this agonizing stabbing pain in my shoulder blades… distracting and painful, but nothing new… just… I live in physical pain all the time, I never say anything to anyone about it IRL because I am already doing everything I can to manage it… it just… it just gets to me sometimes, the pain. Oh, also today in court… 6 camera crews were present today, so that means- murder! A real tough one, too. Military guy home on leave had a few drinks, totaled his car, and wound up killing his passenger. Now, yeah going 70 mph in a 30 mph zone is stupid as hell… but everybody speeds. And yeah, drinking and driving is stupid as hell… but this guy only blew a .172! We have people in court that blow anywhere from .251 to .410… not even kidding. And those people don’t kill and don’t have their lives destroyed and aren’t the lead story on every news channel. Just… rough morning court. Also rough because it lasted WAY longer than most morning court sessions do.

After that, I had to return to the office to discover that the judicial draft I worked on was correct; but there were things put in the wrong place. Ufda!
All of this leads directly into the paperwork part of my morning… inputting every inmate into the system by hand. Followed by PAPER INTERVIEWS! Not just any… Friday! Which means anyone charged with a felony in the entire county is now on my desk, paperwork wise, for me to go over their criminal record and prepare recommendations for court at one! I still stand by what I say… my job is meaningless because whether I get the interviews done by 1 or not… it doesn’t matter to the judge. But I take pride in my work, even if that work is bullshit, and WANT to be done by the deadline!

Of course… being done by the deadline and making it to court on time (after all the other paperwork stuff today) means I skip lunch and go straight to court. A very long court shift… with felony, domestic violence, misdemeanor, petty infraction. Presided over by a judge who assigns everyone a program; whether they are likely to bond out or not. One of my favorites for afternoon court was a young man… he was 25 years old… and he had six children. I can’t… I don’t… I mean… you would THINK after the first kid, he’d figure out “oh yeah, that is how babies are made” but… damn. I often wonder if it is some racial difference why this is happening or if it is because this city is largely Catholic or… I don’t know. I know it isn’t “proper” of me to judge but… I guess it bothers me to SO OFTEN see long criminal records and hoards of babies attached to young people (male or female). I simply can’t conceive of a reality where having multiple kids before becoming 20 years old is the best choice. And… since court was so long, I had lots of time to think about it. Before, that is, returning to the office to input every single court detail for every single defendant into the computer… by hand.

By this time, I’m exhausted and in a lot of pain and very hungry! So… frankly, screw the diet, screw healthy eating, and screw saving money! I hit up a Taco Bell on the way home and stop in at the liquor store for weekend provisions. Of course… silly Me logic… I can’t go workout immediately after eating! So, I admit I veg out a little waiting for the food to get digested. Thinking better of it, I also scrub the toilet. I feel conflicted, of course. It was on the schedule for SATURDAY and I really should be studying instead of television or video games or toilet cleaning but… this, apparently, is who I am. Too focused on a harmonious house to stick to my own schedule or priorities.

Oh, running. I really do need to switch from elliptical to treadmill at some point if I want to genuinely start training for this half-marathon thing but… yeah. I’m already in pain and take the usual way… which doesn’t go as well as I’d like! Tired plus Crap Food plus everything else and I’m exhausted and in pain faster than I deserve to be. I get back home without much time before the wife gets back from work. Grumph! I finish cleaning out the toilet and hop in my shower quickly. Frankly… yeah… I would have liked to study or worked on the autobiography or masturbated or played Facebook Games or finished a single freaking level on Destiny....... but of course, study requires at least three straight uninterrupted hours.... autobiography is non-essential… as are most of the other things I want to do… so.... yeah, the other side of yesterday’s what I need to do versus what I want to do versus what I can do and all that.