Rent went up, new job needed. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I was going to work a double today until I got my thing from housing yesterday and come to find out, my rent went up about $90. I am not going to be able to work a lot or else it ends up just going to my landlord. I appreciate the help that I get but it’s just not going to do for me to work a shit ton of hours and now I get to worry about my paycheck not being able to cover my rent for next month. I’m stressed as shit over this but I know I’ll get through it. My boss was pretty cool about me not being able to work though.

I hung out with my friend (the one I got a raise for) today and she told me that not only did she get a raise, but she also got a cash bonus. I don’t know how much that was but it made me super depressed and made me realize I’m never going to get where I want or need to be with this company and with my car getting paid off with my next financial aid check, it’s time to be serious about finding something else. I just can’t keep doing this shit. I texted my boss tonight and told her I was going gonna be able to work 3 days a week due from getting a second job and after about an hour she text back and said something along the lines of, “ok but are you still good for next weeks schedule” and that really upset me. Not only will I not be closing as a manager until some people quit but then didn’t give 2 fucks about me wanting to cut back on my hours?! Wow, not too fucking heartless or selfish!

What gets to me the most is I’m one of the last few from when we opened and it’s only me and 2 other people that are still at minimum wage! I understand getting tips and all that bullshit but I feel like a nobody there because they don’t feel like I need a damn raise. I’m so sick of worrying about bills and had to get help buying groceries tonight. I can’t even afford to keep food in my house anymore. I just get grumpy when I work my ass off and still can’t make it. I completely understand that they have to be stingy fucks to an extent but they are only looking out for themselves. They don’t give a flying fuck about their employees at all and she proved that tonight but not caring that I was going to have to get a second job. I know I lied but that would be really fucked up if I had to. I would never get enough sleep and never see my niece.

I’m not going to say exactly what my job is because I don’t want to reveal too much of myself as I don’t know who all could be reading this that would know who I am but all I know is I’m going to put in applications everywhere I feel would be a good fit for me. I just can’t keep doing this shit. I just can’t stay with a company that doesn’t appreciate me, that has taken advantage of me needing money and not having much of a life outside of work and has no plans to ever give me what I need to live on. I’m sick of trying to make them understand that I don’t have any help since I’m single. It’s just the typical shit-hole restaurant where people don’t shouldn’t be promoted get raises, people don’t stick around, and you are treated like shit by everyone.

I honestly believe I’ve stuck around long enough and I just can’t get shit on anymore. I am struggling to pay everything and even with the help of rent, I still can’t pull through without help from my friends or using credit cards. I just want to get my fucking car paid off so then I won’t have to worry about making those payments and can be ok working a job without tips. I just wish i wouldn’t have gotten fucked over by that mechanic and my own parents because things would be so different right now. I can’t help but get angry about it because I’ve had to pay thousands of dollars for a car because of other people’s bullshit.

Anyways, I am trying to get my niece to bed. More tomorrow. So glad for my days off.