recovery update thing in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

o remember how, back last month the 10th I stated I was going to eat more. or something. well..........for like 2 wks. there I was. I was eating 2 things a day one being graham crackers. those things are good.

and then I jut stopped. I don’t want to go into all of why right now. so I failed. I put I didn’t think I could go a month. so well I didn’t. I think part of it was I didn’t/don’t like how I look when I gain weight. i’m just not content w/ it. but when I’ve lost weight and I feel horrible. I like how I look.
and when I do eat I still don’t eat healthy. i’ll have rice. and corn. [well not together. corn isn’t exactly bad for you it’s just not the best thing to have]. i’ll eat pasta when it’s made. which isn’t often.
and part of it is that I don’t want to eat for them. just so they won’t say anything about the fact that i’m not. if they’d left well enough alone. ............but they didn’t. [I know i’m being vague here and that’ on purpoe].