Traci Wants Me to Visit in Still Listening to Spirit

Traci called me this morning and had made a decision about what had upset her. She asked me if she paid for the travel, could/would I come to spend time with her in December. “To hold my hand” through the rough part of her decision and because her husband will travel most of December with the Army National Guard.

GAWD I do not want to travel. I did say YES. I am her mother and expected to be there for her when she needs me. I wanted desperately to say “No.” I told her that it would be my opportunity to get my cataract surgery done, possibly at a lower cost than in Anchorage and because I am using cash to pay for it.

She texted me asking about what all she needed to know for her to make reservation for me. She texted later that she had talked to her therapist and the therapist reminded her that she was supposed to have her doctor do bloodwork to check among other things her hormones.

Traci had a hysterectomy a while back and the therapist said most of this hysteria and upset might be because of hormones. AND some other things that Traci did not go into in a text that might be very bad for her mental state and functions.

She texted she was calmer and more stable having made up her mind about this. I am very relieved because this is the result I wanted out of the mess. I didn’t say what I thought she should do with regard to this, I just listened never giving an opinion. She would be unhappy if she didn’t stay with her husband and her kids especially impacted. And her financial security would be out the window and quality of her life and her sons’ lives would not be good.

So, I wait to see if she will still need me once she is calmer, finds out if this is more physical than mental. Crossing my fingers that I won’t travel. The stress would not be good for me, the pain I am still having could flare up at any time, more than 24 hours to get from here to there and usually an overnight in Juneau as well as a 6 to 8 hour ferry ride....sigh.