Some people really suck at taking hints. in Since OD is shutting down....

Yall remember me talking about the dude from NY? He still texts me everyday and talks about us seeing each other but tonight had the fucking nerve to ask me to buy him a ticket online?! Um are you fucking serious! I guess what pisses me off the most is when he responded to my ad, he knew that one of my requirements was that in order to respond, you must have a job. He did not but that didn’t stop him from responding. It pisses me off because I really liked him and felt chemistry between us so I just wish he would have just left me the fuck alone. I’m also annoyed that he’s so far away.

I have since removed my ads from CL and plan to just stick to myself, do my own thing and just let it be. I’m not meeting anyone and I think it’s because I still need time to figure out my own shit. I know that I would like to find someone but I also want to find the right kind of person this time. I’m so tired of finding the worst of the worst and just hoping they become normal human beings. I want someone who is already put together and has their poop in a group or I am not going to waste my time. I do have standards now. I don’t think asking to find someone who has a fucking job is raising the damn bar!

Today has been pleasant and stress free. I slept til about 2 pm and then took a couple of small naps since then. I plan to go to bed very early tonight as well. I just feel like I’m never going to be caught up on sleep and it drives me crazy. I’ve gotten really good sleep today so that does help a bit. I just want to get to bed and sleep more. I’ve been so tired lately because of being up so late and getting up so early.

I’m really troubled about my promotion stuff. I feel like they’ve taken that away and I don’t even know when I’ll get it back. It bothers me because now I get to go back to making just my minimum wage and I could bring up getting a raise but I know that isn’t going to happen. I work for people who have a million and one reasons why they don’t want to give us raises. I’ve thought about telling them I need to cut back on my hours so I can get a second job but what if they were okay with that and I don’t have a second job? I don’t know, I think I need to be putting in applications in other places and keeping myself open to other employment.

I know that I wasn’t ready to be on my own. There’s still so much shit I don’t know how to do and wasn’t taught. I don’t feel like it’s completely my fault that I bombed on the deposit like I did because I was shown 3 different ways how to do it and they didn’t even make sure I knew how to do it before I was thrown into it. Fuck, I just feel so stressed about this shit. Maybe it’s just because I’m still super tired. I also have a shit ton of stuff to do in the morning.

Ugh, more later.