This City Ain't The Same in meh...

please forgive my scattered thought outs that may sound incoherent

For months there has been fear mongering.
For months there have been people speculating, guesstimating, lying, wondering what’s going to happen? How bad it will be? How do we move forward?

I’ve been anti-fear mongering, but, just like in parenting, in anything, you tell someone “you’re bad, no good, etc.” they will start to act in the way you are telling them to.

People have been using a quote from Dr. King re: riots being the voice of the unheard. Well, you rioted once. You looted and burned. You got the worlds attention. When asked what you wanted, many spoke of jobs. There have been things in place complete with training and job placement since I was a youth in need. So don’t tell me that’s what you want. Bring something TANGIBLE and reasonable to the table and let’s get this thing dismantled and rebuilt that suits everyone involved.

That didn’t happen.

Oh there was lots of talking. Lots of talking. By the wrong ones in my opinion. Those that are stuck in their ways. Those that refuse to realize there is such a thing as “white priviledge.” Those that want to be and live the sterotype of what it’s supposed to mean to “be black.”

I can’t speak for white people. I can’t speak for black people. I can only speak for myself. There is nothing wrong with just being a human.

My little cousin, who is going to school to be a police officer was having a change of heart about his profession. I told him to become the change he wanted to see. He got that, but then said that he doesn’t want to be pegged in with the bad cops out there. I simply asked him, “Do you not believe God has your back? hash tag EnuffSaid.” I don’t usually say stuff like that to people, but he seems to not have fallen off from the Word like his older brothers have. He stays on Facebook professing his faith and now he’s scared? Uh-uh. Come up off that.

I don’t know how to feel right now, though. Seriously.
I am disappointed. I have been disappointed since George Zimmerman shot & killed Trayvon Martin and walked.
My heart was broken because once again…you know…
I won’t get into the rhetoric about my son and how can he be safe. I am always worried about my son. My son is so far removed from this mentally. I got a call from his school saying that they were out today. I told him, told him why, he asked does this mean the city is going to turn into “The Purge?” I said, “Kind of.” And I’ll be damned if it didn’t. They burned a car lot for people who can’t really afford a car, but as my sister pointed out, they left the payday loan place and the Taco Bell. Priorities, huh? ::smdh::

I almost bawled when George Zimmerman walked. I shed a few tears last night because I really don’t understand. The fact is and remains that this man shot a boy who had no weapon and he won’t be indicted. I can’t see self defense. This seems like street justice. You get punched in the face and you can’t get the best of someone, so you get a gun and shoot. When the person shot dies, then it turns into some form of self defense. In the schoolyard days, I call that being a punk bitch. Not that this young man was supposed to fight a police officer, but he, the officer, could have aimed low or at least waited for his back up before approaching.

I’m equally disgusted because of all the talk that everyone did. All the talk that was spread on social media. All the misinformation that was shared and repeated as fact. All of that talk and lies ruined this case. “I just wanted to be a part of something and told my boyfriend’s story” but she told the story as her own and her boyfriend wasn’t a witness. There was a lot of that from what I’ve seen personally on social media.

Then the riots & looting. There are people so afraid, understandably though. But at the same time I can’t live my life in fear. Because just like rumors, people lie when they are afraid too. I have a friend who told me about her aunt who lives in a neighboring suburb of Ferguson. She said her aunt was robbed and assaulted and almost raped by two black men in the name of “Michael Brown”. She quit her job and is now a basket case afraid to leave the house. I’m wondering how much of that story is true. Not that she would have a reason to lie and I don’t know.
My place of business is in an area with a protest happened. This happened many, plenty blocks away. The immediate vicinity is safe. We even have extra security on site. People have called back to back already asking if we are open today. “i want to exchange my ticket for your evening event because of all the craziness down there.” If I could actually tell people my thoughts on their behavior…

Al Sharpton, while I think he is a clown, as he officiated Michael Brown’s service made a crucial point: ”People are out here trying to be more angry than his parents.” Something needed to happen, but the violence and looting? No. His parents and family have called for peace. They will be making a statement today later on, but they have called for peace. This stopped being about him, this even stopped being about justice a long time ago.

This makes me angry, this makes me sad. There is just so much going on and it’s overwhelming. I will not be watching news related tv. Because it’s going to be saturated with this. It’s never that I don’t care. I just can’t absorb and take this on and make myself a depressed mess.

And to think my yesterday started with a water main break…

Please keep Michael Brown’s family in your prayers.
From the outskirts of the war zone,
Sister…