My worst ever Memory - 25/01/2002 in Opendiary Archive

Wow. I just thought I’d write one called this, and now I can’t think what my worst ever memory is. I’ve been so happy with most of my life.

I mean, stuff that should be bad memories, aren’t, and not being able to think of bad stuff like that worries me.

For example, I was hit by a car age 15. Made a right bloody mess up of my leg. But when I think about it, all I think of is how lucky I am to still be alive. I don’t regret being hit by that car one moment. It made me begin to relish how much my life meant to me.

Or the time my Nan’ had a heart attack. I was just glad she survived, and was going to be ok, I never stopped to be angry that it had happened in the first place.

I think my worst ever memory has got to be coming to terms with my Grans Alzeimers, and how I reacted to that. I was stupid, and took advantage of her weakness to go round her house, and just blatently take what I wanted. If that sounds cruel, it’s because it was. And I am not proud of it at all. I used to go round to her flat on the pretext to she if she was alright because I knew that when I went round she would give me money, not knowing how much money she was giving me. I have done many bad things in my time, but that has to have been the worst.

I make my apology’s now. I am sorry for ever having done that to you Gran, and I am sorry that I didn’t apologise whilst you still knew who I was, and could understand how bad I felt, and feel, for doing that to you.

Sorry.