For the theme - 08/01/2002 in Opendiary Archive

It’s asking “who do you trust and why?”

I think that’s a good question. I don’t really know the answer but let’s try and work through it together.

First off. I don’t trust my parents. That’s not to say they’re bad people (they are definetly the best of the bunch), but I find myself unable to trust them with my ideas, and the way I think. This stems back to a young age, and my first serious talk with my Dad, when he told me god didn’t exist. I wasn’t old enough or clever enough to pose any argument, but I told him I believed in god. He just said he didn’t exist.
My Mum’s alright, but she’s too practical to trust about in depth things. She’d try and find a practical solution when it’s clear the only problem is with the way I think.

I certainly don’t trust myself. I’m not a good person, and I’m certainly not trust worthy. I am quite willing to lie and cheat, and if I’m willing to do that to my friends, I’m certainly willing to do it to myself. Honesty being the best policy here? Or am I just trying an emotional tactic. Ramble.

Really, I can’t think of anyone I truly trust with everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Not even my girlfriend. She’s a wonderful person, and has stuck by me through everything, but she looks at me through rose tinted glasses. She thinks I’m a nice person deep down. I’m really not. I’m selfish, arrogant, and manipulative, and how can she be trustworthy when she can be that wrong.

Ok. So we’ve established I don’t trust people. Now someone write back and tell me why I SHOULD?