A questionairre thingie. - 11/10/2001 in Opendiary Archive

Information about me is often scarce in being shortcoming, so when I find these I tend to do them. They are obviously exceeding serious and have a definite point to them (big neon sign marks sarcasm here).

1.If you had edible underwear, what flavor would it be?

Erm. Whatever the lady prefers? If they were wearing edible underwear, I’d say blackcurrant.

2.Would you eat it?

Well that depends what IT is. ;)

3.Have you ever been topped like a pizza?

Erm. No. Should I have been?

4.Ever stripped?

Well I DO have to bathe now and again. sigh yes.

5.Ever streaked?

No. Definetly not. No way. Who me? I mean, come on.

6.Ever skinny dipped?

Hell yeah!

7.Ever seen a dead person? Once or twice.

My Grans dead, but she’s still moving about so I’m not sure if that one counts.

8.Ever seen “the light?”

Heaven be praise I have seen the light!!!! Only in the “Blues Brothers”.

9.Was it bright?

It was blue, and it made Jake do backflips. So probably not.

10.Ever been attacked by a wild animal?

One or two ex girlfriends. But that’s it. Oh, wait, actually one time I was attacked by my dog Teale when I was young. Having said that I was trying to pull his ears off so I probably deserved it.

11.Ever seen a ghost?

This is always a difficult question. I’ve seen lots of things which the weak minded my attribute to ghosts. My personal philosophy is, if someones dead they probably have better things to do with their time then make books fall off shelves, and make cold draughts. An old house can do this all by itself.

12.Ever seen a UFO?

Unfortunatly no.

13.Ever been to a concert?

Several. (Alice Cooper is GOD)

14.Ever moshed?

Before I cut my hair off I had a highly addictive variation on moshing, which I would attempt to get all my friends to do. It was great fun. Moshed as well, but I thought you might want to know that.

15.Break anything? I have never broken a bone in my life. Not on me anyways. Or did you mean anyones possessions. In either case. No.

16.Ever been in a fight?

Several. I’m not a tolerant person, though I try to be. I’d tell you about the most amusing one but it’s a long story. Maybe another time.

17.Ever been in a car accident?

Technically I was in a bike accident. But I was hit by a car. It was going 40 odd MPH and the only thing that kept me alive was my bicycle helmet. Let that be a warning to you. Incidentally all I suffered in damage was a bust up knee, so it all worked out ok in the end.

18.Ever masturbated?

Well duh. I’m male for fucks sake, and any man who says he’s never masturbated is a big fat hair liar. So rasp.

19.For someone else?

Erm. This is getting a little personal. Oh what the hell. Yeah. It doesn’t really do anything for me, but she didn’t complain.

20.69?

Who hasn’t. It’s a giggle, but I think it must look awful (I kept my eyes shut).

21.Ever have blue balls?

Isn’t that a drink? I don’t know what this is, seriously. So I can’t tell you. Probably not. It sounds painful.

22.Longest time on the phone?

7 hours. I (naturally) wasn’t paying the bill.

23.Longest time without sex?

Well, strangely enough, the first 15 years of my life were oddly sex free. But if you mean after that. 6 months?

24.Longest time you’ve ever had sex?

pulls out stop watch. Erm, do you mean all in one sitting, or just how long did the session last? If the first I think it was a little over 2 hours. If the latter, around 9 hours. It was one of those days.

25.Wierdest place you ever had sex?

Er, I dunno. I’ve done it in some bizarre places. I’ll give a few as a list and you can pick and choose.

1) Sleeping bag sex up in a quarry
2) Shower, covered in green goo
3) Bath, also a green goo day
4) Kitchen table, with girlfriends parents due home any second.
5) My cousins bed (eeeeeeeew)
6) At friends house, very subtetly whilst there were two of my friends there. That was a bizarre night. I’ll tell all sooner or later in my diary. So keep reading.

26.Ever been caught?

Well my partner would frequently notice. Other then that. No, not really.

27.Ever eaten a bug?

When I was very young, my brother (my elder by 18 months) would feed me insects for a laugh. So yes, lots of them.

28.Ever had stitches?

You want the total? I’ve had 106 stitches. I have a VERY active life.

29.Broken any bones?

Erm, I’ve already answered this. Not much has happened in the last 5 minutes. So still no

30.Shaved your head?

Over the summer, yes. My hair used to be down my back a little. Now it’s a number 2 all over.

31.Cut your own hair?

Ha. Once. Never again.

32.Dyed your hair?

yup. Had it black for a while. To lazy to do it again, so it grew out eventually.

33.If so, what color?

Are you paying attention? Black BLACK!!!!

34.Ever thought about committing suicide?

Once. I wrote a letter, read it, and decided I couldn’t kill myself. It was the worst letter I’ve ever written. It was so tacky. I just couldn’t let people remember me like that.

35.Ever been to a counselor?

I do not require counselling thank you.

36.Ever had someone sleep in your bed with you?

Several people. Most recently my current girlfriend.

37.Ever slept in someone else’s bed?

Not wishing to boast but HELL YEAH!!

38.Do drugs?

downs yet another Espresso Drugs? Man those things are a crutch. Seriously though. Yeah I smoke cannabis. Not often though.

39.Get drunk?

Not really. I don’t like being TOO out of control. I get violent. So I don’t really drink that much.

40.If so, on what?

Life, the universe. Everything really.

41.Most annoying color:

Colours are annoying? Erm. Peuce. I hate that word.

42.Longest work day:

Work?

43.Worst job possible:

job?

44.Ever said ‘put it in my mouth?

Yes, but I was talking about chocolate

45.Worst present ever received:

A mobile phone. Christ my life isn’t complex enough with being bombarded with all manner of electronica?

46.Ever get/give a lap dance?

Got one once.