Newness in Friends With the Benedicts

Hi. I am peeking out from under a rock because that’s where it feels like I reside right now. I started the new med, Rebif, a few days ago. That’s my MS med. It is Interferon, so it has a whole list of side effects but thankfully I haven’t noticed much! OMG do you know how mazing it feels to shoot myself with my medicine, first of all only every 3 days, but then to have it not sting like 1000 bees on meth? And then, to not have that site blow up like a balloon and itch while hurting, and have to do it all over again the next day? I will take some flu-like symptoms for the first week if this is what I end up with. I noticed some very bad leg cramps at my Moms that felt like it would if you had flu aches, so I am assuming maybe that is it. But she gave me a lortab and it helped take the edge off. Umm… yea, so it is really easy, I feel nothing except a kinda painful ouchie when it’s going in, and then… nothing. Ahhhh haaaaa! I mean just TONITE, my site from like 4 days ago started to itch mildly. Nothing I can’t handle. They had said it would raise my body temp and so far nah. I have been drinking water just in case like they said tho.

In fact, I have been doing everything right. Well, better at least. Why isn’t my sugar reflecting that?! I don’t get it. I am like super diabetic! I am drinking diet or water, eating low sugar. I hadn’t even eaten in forever and I tested at 272. I. Give. Up. I can’t dooo this! I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. I don’t want this. I had resigned myself to it in my 60’s. Hell, everyone in my family dies in their 60’s. It’s ok… I am used to it. But now? Not now. I saw my aunt get her foot/partial leg amputated, saw my Mammal struggle with it and eventually succumb. They both did. But they were way over 60! NOT now! Go away! I was doing kinda alright before this. Now I dunno anymore. I feel like the world is crumbling around me. I wanna give up. Please can I give up?