Day 106 - Prep for the Worst, Hope for the Best in These Foolish Things

Morning. Just out of my meeting with my agent in China. What a disaster these tariffs are. I may end up getting tariffed right out of a job! Fucking motherfucking Trump can suck it right now. It’s messing up everyone and everything that I do - I feel like I’m in a holding pattern.

Derm appointment (see previous entry), was fine. I asked Dr. Derm if he could go aggressive and remove the whole lesion while I was there, and he told me that it was a great question, but that because of the way INSURANCE WORKS, we have to go the biopsy route so that we can prove it is what it is, ya know? Even though he agrees with me that it looks very suspicious - when he looked through the loop he said he thought it looked more like a squamous than a basil, but regardless, a cancer is a cancer is a cancer and I want it OUT.

So, instead of just nipping the issue in the bud, I have to go through the process of cutting my skin not once but twice.

The good news is, Dr. Derm’s bedside manner is impeccable, and I really, really like him. I decided to mentally turn the whole experience into a spa-like experience. And they are good to me there. They let me be a baby because as Dr. Derm says, “You’ve been through a lot, and you’re a really tough lady. You’re doing an amazing job!”

And they have a sound machine that plays nature sounds, so I had the nurse turn on the birds chirping sound and it was so relaxing that I didn’t even realize he’d taken the biopsy until after it was over and I was bleeding (I still take a baby aspirin daily due to my aneurysm, which causes me to bleed a lot). It’s been 24 hours and I’m still bleeding when I take the bandage off.

But I’m taking care of myself and that’s the important part! I’m not putting my head in the sand. I’m taking action as soon as something feels off to me.

I’m also starting to pack for my long weekend trip to [former city] to attend all of my doctor follow-up visits…and brunch…and EASTER. Starting Friday, I’ll be spending four days running around and taking care of myself and (hopefully) seeing friends. It’s supposed to be a rainy weekend, boooo! In fact, some of the storms may be severe!

And that means I have to figure out the whole situation: are people actually going to come to brunch? Probably not if we are in the middle of tornado warnings. Same with going to visit my parents on Sunday for Easter! I’m not going to drive though a tornado!

Annoying.

Prep for the worst and hope for the best!

OK. I need to prep for my team meeting that’s happening in a few minutes. The company hired a fractional COO who is supposed to provide us with a lot of guidance and yet…the guidance is coming from US, the team. And that’s fine – it’s just that it seems like she gets paid a lot of $$$$ to facilitate meetings and not actually DO anything.

Kitty Cat tells me that she’s supposed to give us our tariff stance, but she’s NOT providing any guidance. I understand that nobody knows what to do because Trump changes hour by hour, but…help a bitch out!

Ok, more later. I have thoughts on some fun entries coming up…
xox,
GS