Parenting time!! in Since OD is shutting down....

So, yesterday. My daughter informs me that there’s a note from the Sheriff on the door where we used to live and I go check. Sure enough, there was a note left 3 days prior. My boyfriend takes her to school and before I start working, I call them. They told me it’s parenting time petition from her bio Dad. I went and picked up the paperwork. I had the choice to either object and have a hearing very soon, or not object and there would be a hearing in a couple of months. I chose to go print out the paperwork and fill it out. I had to do a court ordered parenting class from their website. I spent most of the day getting that done, going to the court house and then mailing him a copy.

I always knew that this was a possibility and I’m honestly really glad that it has. I’ve always felt that if there was any chance of this to work, it’s going to be through a court order. I admit, I definitely have my concerns but I’m going to keep an open mind and see what happens at the court date. He still stays in a transitional housing place and doesn’t have a car so if he’s to get her overnight, he’ll have to shell out for a motel room. I really hope that this could end up being a blessing for everyone.

On another note, my boyfriend got physical with my little brother a couple of nights ago. My older brother called the cops. I still don’t know if he’s going to be brought up on charges and my Mother said they were going to get a restraining order. I’m not on anyone’s side and I really wish that he wouldn’t have done that. My Mom got her check for the house today and since my boyfriend did what he did, neither of us got any money. I don’t feel that it’s fair whatsoever because he busted his ass moving stuff and hauling shit to the dump and I also lost time at work helping so I’m pretty pissed.

I’m definitely not surprised though. I will take this as a lesson learned and make sure that I’m not helping anyone unless it’s to happen in my down time. When my daughter is at school, my ass is going to be at work. I will never again give up money to help anyone. I’m honestly not shocked by this because they’ve done this kind of stuff to me my entire life. I shouldn’t have to suffer because of someone else. I lost money for my bills and my child to help them and never saw a dollar.

But on the other hand, I’d rather not get a penny. I don’t want it held over my head. I will just remember this should I ever be asked to help in any kind of way ever again. I know my older brother got PAID and he didn’t do hardly anything and probably won’t do much to help with what’s left.

My little brother is going to live in an apartment with my Mother and she is going on public housing where she was told specifically he can’t be there because he has pending criminal charges but since she doesn’t want to put him in a home where he can get help, she’s moving him in with her and I plan to get them evicted. Since I got fucked over, I plan on returning the favor. I don’t care how ANYONE feels about this either. I am so sick of bending my life around to help these fucking people and then get what I do.

All I know is I don’t want anything more to do with any of them for as long as I live and I do plan to be changing my phone number. I know that they are mad at my boyfriend and are going to do everything they can to get him put in jail, even if that means my daughter and I end up homeless. I know that he fucked up and everything but now I am absolutely worried sick over what’s going to happen.

I have applied for a couple of low income places. I applied on my birthday. I am absolutely terrified of not having a back up plan. He could end up in jail and I want to know that we won’t be out in the fucking streets. My boyfriend tends to be super reckless and is always talking about how he doesn’t thin he’s going to make it another 10 years and blah blah blah so I need to do what I can for my kid and myself.

Everything feels really scary right now. I just try to make it through the day. I never imagined my life being like this and sometimes, I honestly don’t know how I manage.

I wish I had more people to talk to. I feel really alone a lot of the time. My boyfriend is always talking and never shuts up. He gets annoyed with me and will stop me in mid sentence and usually to be an asshole so I just shut up and go about the day. Sometimes he really pisses me off. It’s a mind fuck because sometimes I’m happier than I’ve ever been and other times I wish I would have just stayed in my own place.

My Mom is just a fucking bitch. I just wonder if she told my older brother our plan to move and he told kid’s Dad. I question the timing with this. I always knew that this was a possibility but it’s just interesting that this comes after me saying we were planning to leave. I better not find out that they helped my kid’s Dad keep me here because I will catch a charge. Them people don’t care what he’s put me through and they better hope that they didn’t help this situation.

My kid is in here making it really hard for me to type and constantly talk to her so I’ll write more tomorrow.