Day 100 - Upstairs Downstairs in These Foolish Things

Ahhh, I haven’t talked about my neighbors in a while, have I?

Honestly, there’s not a whole lot to write about since I don’t see my neighbors a lot. This little community where I live is not a very social place, though the dog community is a little better since everyone congregates at the dog park. Unfortunately, I don’t go to the dog park because Martini is too small to romp with the bigger dogs, who tend to clod all over her and want to use her as a toy.

I digress…

Remember my issue with my downstairs neighbor? All of a sudden, one evening, I started hearing the sound of BOMBS booming for hours on end. It was insane, shaking my walls and rattling my dishes. It was every single evening and it was NON-STOP.

I thought it was a video game system or something, and I left him a care package on his doorstep with a hand-written note asking him to turn that shit down. He thanked me for the notice and told me that it was a new subwoofer for his theater system and that he wasn’t gaming, but he was watching movies. He seemed to tone it down a little, but I could still hear the thundering.

When my friends came to visit for a long weekend, they heard it too and said that there was no way he was watching movies. Even war movies didn’t have explosion sounds for HOURS on end!

I think I have figured it out, and I’ve conjured a whole story around it!

I think the guy is a foreign SPY!

See, sometimes when I go out on the patio, I can hear him talking on the phone. Sometimes he speaking in English, sometimes Spanish, and sometimes it’s another language that I can’t quite make out…I think it’s Russian, but it could be another Eastern European language (from what I can detect).

I think that the bomb sounds are some kind of simulator that he’s using to practice blowing things up!

I honestly think this could all be very possible. He’s living in an unassuming apartment complex, downstairs in a nearly subterranean unit. He keeps to himself. He’s actually a nice dude when you talk to him - kind of a “bro” if you know what I mean. NOBODY would suspect this guy of being a spy, and that’s why I think he’s IS one!

Stay tuned to see what I find out.

Now let’s talk about my UPSTAIRS neighbors.

Man and woman. They are a young-ish couple. I think they are married. I rarely, rarely hear them or see them. Friendly-ish in that they say hello when I see them, but that’s it. We’ve never had a real conversation.

And like I said, they’ve lived upstairs for over a year and I have only heard footsteps or movement up there maybe two or three times. Soooo unlike the Bigfoot I had above me at The Treehouse. What a relief!

But the other night I was up later than normal. In fact, it was the night of The White Lotus season finale, so I was allll keyed up. And while I was taking my clothes off to get ready for bed, I heard sex sounds.

For the very first time since I’ve moved here - two YEARS - I finally heard people having sex! I almost can’t believe I even heard it, and not trying to be pervy, but maybe this is? I listened.

I listened for several reasons: (1) because it’s always fascinating to hear, (2) because it’s been sooooooo long for me and I missed those sounds, (3) because I wondered how long it would last, (4) because if I could hear their sex in such detail - down to the slapping noises - that THEY could hear everything that I do…including my singing in the shower, and singing to my dog, and talking to myself, which I do ALL THE TIME!

I’m not sure what all this means except for when you live under the same roof, you have to wonder about the people under that roof, right? It’s kind of wild that I am living in such close proximity to other human beings and only know them from the sounds coming from their spaces…and that’s all they know about me, too! We assume things and we wonder about things and we never truly know.

Imagine what they might think about me. I imagine they hear me jumping on the mini-trampoline early in the morning, and YELLING at the TV when I’m listening to the news about the latest bullshit that Trump is pulling, and singing at the top of my lungs in the shower (yes, I literally do this), and having full-on conversations with my dog.

Just some thoughts.

xox,
GS