Day 99 - "Am I Going...?" in These Foolish Things

I didn’t call my mom and dad last night as I was so freaking tired for some reason that I went to bed at 7:30. Got a great night’s sleep, and have been churning several work projects out all day (with some pauses for frustration about the INSANE tariff situation…).

But I got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize earlier today, and my phone said it was a spam risk, so I didn’t answer. The caller left no message, and the number was from my former city (but an adjacent number to Mom and Dad’s).

Bottom line, I was concerned that there might be some issue with them, so I called this afternoon just to check in.

Dad wanted to tell me that he and Mom both had to sign some paperwork that had to do with Mom’s in-home health care and support. So Dad signed the papers and then he asked Mom to sign.

When he handed her the pen to sign, she asked, “Am I signing so you can send me to a home?”

Waaahhhh!!

When he told me that, I wanted to cry so hard, but I asked him if she was scared or upset or if she’s worried, and he told me that she doesn’t seem to be. Like, things like this are happening more and more, but the events seem to roll right off her back and then she’s on to the next thing…

It’s just these little things happening more and more and more. Is it weird or wrong of me to say that I can’t believe she’s even still here?

And what do I want to make sure she knows the next time I see her? Even if we have a super meaningful conversation, it goes right out of her mind pretty quickly.

I do know that she likes gifts, and she’ll love some pretty things for Easter. So I’ll go out of my way to make sure she has a corsage for church (she LOVES that), and maybe some pretty little trinkets of some sort, and (of course), some Easter sweets juuust for her (and yes, some for my niece too!).

I need to do something nice for my dad, too. He is still trying to take care of the whole family. It makes my heart ache. What special little thing should I do for him? I should get him a boutonniere for Easter as well.

Ugh. This is so hard, and yet, all part of life.

xox,
GS