ENTRY 99: Agent 99 in Much Ado About Nothing

Perhaps nothing so clearly expresses “Xillennial w/a Media Focus” like the fact that some references to media from the late 1960s and early 1970s still ring true for me. I know that those dates aren’t Xillennial at all but Gen X allegedly is 1960 to 1985 and Millennials is 1981-1996. So being 1984, I rather feel the Xillennial may work even better than Elder Millennial. For those wondering what the hell I’m talking about: there was a television show called GET SMART whose “Female Lead/Romantic Focus” was played by Barbara Feldon and named Agent 99. Ultimately, this shouldn’t need any explanation as it was made into a moderately successful film in 2008 where Anne Hathaway played Agent 99. AND interestingly enough, after I saw the 2008 film, I honestly thought, “I can see Hathaway as Catwoman!” Lo and behold, in 2012- that is the exact character she played in the 3rd Nolan Batman movie.

I want to thank everyone for their advice as requested yesterday. I will certainly be writing an Entry on Sunday which should include my role in Much Ado About Nothing, my date, whether I asked her about the Saturday show, and quite possibly write about the first Read Through. With Full Cast Announcement scheduled for Saturday, that may also be the “Here’s Cast, Let’s Read Through Tomorrow!” or it could be “Let’s Read Through Monday!” so… I’ll know more when I know more.

As for today? I woke up late and had to race out the door. Did hearings got things taken care of. Then came to the midpoint of the day, when I have the least energy to push forward. I have two, as I consider them, optional writing assignments.
(1) Do I want to write a paper for the Court arguing what the term USE means for “using a cell phone”? Court was deciding whether someone holding their phone, dinking around on the phone, and saying he was playing with the GPS… while driving a semi counts as against the law in the Prohibition For Handheld Device Use” law. IT’s the dumb judge, so she’ll say “GPS doesn’t count as use” and I would have potentially cared but Iowa passed a law THIS WEEK that now bans ALL handheld devices in ALL cars. So… while this new law does not cover the case currently in front of the judge? The old law will now be controlled by the new law in any future cases. So I have a lot less concern over whether this judge’s bad ruling would impact future cases. Law changed. It doesn’t matter. So… do I write one just to keep from losing this case anyway?
(2) Do I want to write an Appellate Brief when Defense Counsel did not write one first?

(Then I had to go to lunch. Came back. Checked my cases.)
Remember how recently I said that the Clerks have been FUCKING US OVER left and right? Well.... all last week, the case had NO appellate brief from Defense Counsel. Then I check today and it is there listed “Filed 3/22” So… filed 3/22 but was not VISIBLE IN THE CASE when I checked on 3/28?! So, great. Now I’M fucked because the clerks suck and this case may be tossed out and look very much like my fault because I did not submit the resistance.... to something that had been filed but not actually UPDATED for over a week!!!!!!!! FUCK!

SO, I spent the afternoon desperately trying to throw something together. I will make a more restricted entry with the specifics of the case to determine what y’all think. Ultimately at this point, I’m just… unhappy at how shitty these writings always are. BUT I often say (here, even) that I am going to be kinder to myself in respect of Appeal Briefs. I am the ONLY attorney in this office that is required to write my own Appeal Briefs… all of the other attorneys here have an entire STATE FUNDED department called “Department of Appeals” that write theirs! And considering my appeals are often against Pro Se Defendants writing “The cops violated my rights when they arrested me for saying I’ma fucking kill you and by 1st Amendment of the Constitution, that ain’t illegal.” SO… I get it. They need someone like me who writes (a lot) to basically just come up with pretty language and a few citations stating something like, “Under the 1st Amendment to the Constitution, it has been consistently held that the government is not permitted to ban speech based on political content or message. Exceptions have long since existed, curtailing the right for reasons of public safety and personal safety of the citizens of the United States. Often referenced in most arguments is the phrase “You can’t shout FIRE in a crowded movie theater.” However, based on federal law and the laws of every state, the public safety provision regarding free speech also covers threats of violence. The laws have been challenged in courts across the land and across time, and the courts have consistently upheld that threatening to kill someone, especially when paired with apparent ability to follow through on such a threat, is against the law and does not violate the First Amendment of the Defendant.” So.... that… but… in 3 to 7 pages using citations and references. STILL, though. The fact that I have to do Appellate Briefs instead of Suppression Hearings.... is not why I came here. I wanted to learn how to be a better litigating attorney and this area has Jury Trials the way other towns have traffic jams- every day and messy. NOT THAT I WANT THAT either, mind you. If I was in Jury Trial every week, I honestly could not have ANY life… no dating, no dog, no acting. So, that’s why I am fine where I am in that regard. It’s just… Arguing with Idiots instead of Being a Lawyer.... and then add that the Courts tend to give a lot of leeway to the Idiots so that they can do things I’m not allowed to..... it just… sometimes it gets to me, that’s all. But again.... if I moved up… I’d have less of everything I want outside of work. And if I moved to a new area? I’d have more attorney work and less of everything I want outside of work anyway.

My evening? Well, very April 4th, sadly, but I’ll get to that.

I first joined my fellow attorneys for a single drink. All I had time for but two of them did turn 50 this week so… a worthwhile occasion. Then back to let the dog out for an hour- get some sun, get some exercise, go to the bathroom. While she was out, I filmed one of my quickest TIKTOK videos yet. A rapid one to let people know that April 5th is set to be the biggest national mobilization effort we’ve ever tried before and to make sure you aren’t letting agitators stir you to violence and if you see violence, have your phones on and out to capture photographs and video to prove WHO it was because we know people will be causing destruction and violence and we need to prove it wasn’t US! Then get Nala back in and away we go again. Back out, now to the bar next to the theater for a rapidly quick spot of light dinner and then the Children’s show. This was truly a Children’s Show with kids as young as 6 and as old as 14 on stage with a 15 year old in the sound booth. KIDS show. But the audience was filled with truly terrible people. And I mean that. I understand that it is parents and grandparents and uncles and aunts and siblings dragged there against their will and all of that- I understand that. But this ISN’T your child’s school’s presentation of “Theater for Kids”. This is an honest to God theater with people buying tickets to support THEATER. So, I’m sorry miss, but you’re infant screaming throughout the entire first act is not responding to your 5 year old shouting “QUIET, I CAN’T HEAR” so maybe get the fuck out of the auditorium. But honestly, even that is understandable. Single mom trying to juggle three kids doesn’t want to miss her baby performing on stage. It’s abysmal theater etiquette and considerably rude to everyone else… but again, I understand it. The pair that REALLY pissed me off were the two gentlemen directly behind me. Talking throughout the whole thing. And not… a private conversation. Being very rude and very critical of the children, the performance, the technical issues. VERY RUDE. Like… this was Madagascar, btw.... the young girl playing Marty the Zebra… couldn’t get her mic to be consistent for the life of her. As an ADULT, that fucks with you something fierce on stage. As a child?! Just celebrate that she kept on task, said her lines, did her movements, sang her songs, and kept the show going!! Like… the sound booth was SHIT at cutting mics as kids left stage. And you can tell people all you want, “DO NOT TALK WHEN YOU GET OFF STAGE” but these are children. So, you’d hear a loudly mic’d “you did a good job” as kids were leaving stage. And at one point, one of the tiny kids had an emotional breakdown back stage- crying, unable to come on stage. And was mic’d through most of it… the children on stage staying strong, pushing ahead, and doing their lines and the show. So, I admit and acknowledge… there were issues.
That said the two gentlemen behind me were outright swearing and not in hushed tones talking about “the fucking waste” and “fucking stupid fucking sound system” and “shitty ass kids”… it was honestly all I could do as Intermission started to not spin on them and give them a piece of my mind. But when I turned around? They were either very high or very drunk. Neither is appropriate but giving them a piece of my mind wouldn’t have gotten through to them and may have only gotten them more irate! During the second half of the show, they seemed to calm down some and I thought, “Oh, it was probably that they were very high, having an agitating reaction, and then the groove finally hit them.” But as the show ended, and a child raced to them for a giant hug, and I caught some of their conversation? It seemed clear that one of two scenarios was playing out.
(1) This is a brother that has been away for a while and his presence was a surprise to the castmate as nobody had told her or knew they would be there; which is why they weren’t sitting with the rest of the family. He and his friend were there to show her their support. (This also fits with a drunk or high perspective); or
(2) This is a very young absentee dad who has a terrible relationship with the child’s mother, the mother having full custody and not wanting anything to do with the man; which is why they weren’t sitting with the rest of the family. He and his friend were there to show her their support (This also fits w/drunk or high, but also suggests why the first half was full of malice and rancor as it had more to do with the tension of being “in the same room” with the mother).
But again- these are just speculations.

Then I checked my TikTok. It was short. It was informative. It was cautionary. Apparently, it struck a chord as it had 75 likes, 8 messages, and 4 Added to Favorites in the brief time I was watching the show! But of course… not all positive. Which is honestly rare for me. I’m not a big enough creator to get MAGAts on my page often. THIS video was something else. And… seriously… show me the Toxic Masculinity Paper Thin Fragility of the MAGA Man!! I did a video informing people about National Protests, I cautioned them to stay safe and make sure people weren’t being violent. THAT’s all I did. Which to these TINY MAGA men is deeply triggering for reasons that escape me.
Of the two actions that struck me, both were because the MAGA noter added my video to their “Favorites” section… which I found odd, and notable- thus why I’m noting it.
The one simply said “He will still be president. get used to it!” which… dude… I’m going to respond to that note (and did) with the recommended protest shout for tomorrow which is “Protect the Constitution”. If you’re objecting to “Protect the Constitution” that shows a LOT more about your side than you may think!
The other was far more involved. It said, “Democrats approval rating will be single digits by monday! nobody is buying what your selling and the violent tantrums are getting old.”
Which… horrendous grammar aside (which seems to be a hallmark of these people and YES I do mean that. If Trump can brag about loving the uneducated while cutting their funding, healthcare, and social security… and they VOTE FOR HIM ANYWAY.... I get to point out the fact that they frequently continue to demonstrate their now proud identity of UNEDUCATED.) but that aside.... what in my video directly relates to the comment? MORE IMPORTANTLY… this week of all weeks is not the week to (a) say the Democrats have no support (Booker, Crawford)… Brittany Pettersen getting Bi-Partisan legislation to block Mike Johnson in a move that so embarrassed Johnson that he shut down the House of Representatives all week… a move Trump himself thought was so weak that Trump now supports the Voting by Proxy Bipartisan Legislation; (b) pretend that Donald is GOAT, God, The Best as even Nick Fuentes, Ben Shapiro, Rand Paul, and Chuck Grassley have publicly come out to say that this Tariff disaster was fucking stupid, destructive, and detrimental; or (c) trot out the old claim that Democrats are the violent ones.... gosh, funny how it was Conservatives that took shots at the President and Conservatives who violently stormed the White House and sought out Politicians to actively intentionally harm and how it is typically Conservatives driving through/over Protestors… even when the Conservative is driving over Counter-Protestors who are actually supporting the ideals he claims to espouse. BUT here’s the thing. Being a dick to this guy isn’t going to do anything. His entire focus is STILL “pwn the libs” as his entire comment was focused on “fuck you liberals” and not “Daddy Trump is doing awesome!” So… you can’t save that guy with logic nor should you. It’s like when you watch an animal drink poison. You know it’s too dumb to see the harm and you pity it for destroying itself. As long as that animal doesn’t hurt you or the people you care about. So I just… shared that pity. My response to that bile and vitriol was “genuinely hope you don’t have your retirement in the stock market. and hope you don’t have any children that will be heavily impacted by laws ceding our global influence to foreign parties.” Because… honestly. I know we got here a lot on people who didn’t research, didn’t think, didn’t reason.... just jumped on the Cult Thinking of Praise Trump, Fuck the Libs. And if you did that? You don’t have to identify yourself. But if you’re willing to ignore what is happening because still “Praise Trump, Fuck the Libs”… then I seriously hope your shortsighted destructive thinking does not come at the cost of the people you love. Because what is going on right now? Is pushing our allies away from us. To the point where people who would NEVER have signed a trade agreement with China did so this week. To the point where people who wanted to buy farm product from the US; changed all of their orders to Brazil and South American Countries. So… yeah. If you’re taking a victory lap as Rome burns? I pity you and hope WE THE PEOPLE can fight back and protect enough of this country that this bullshit doesn’t destroy your children.

But I just got it. I don’t have High Tech Education so this may be totally bullshit… but I just got it. Obviously we know, anyone who is paying attention, that all of this is still VERY MUCH in service to Putin. Fuck, Russia was one of the ONLY countries that didn’t get new tariffs… which just continues to support the WELL WORN TERRITORY of ways Trump has said “I will destroy everything around me if only to get a Valentine’s Card from Putin!” But drive that bullshit forward. We know the Russian Bots are still playing heavily in the “disrupt the West, tear it all down, destroy the West to rise anew as a superior USSR”… we know they are. And I don’t want to go all Conspiratorial on anyone but… that would make the ADDED TO FAVORITES make sense. Either a person, a bot, or a program was going through every video hashtagging April 5th or Democracy or Protest or the trigger words towards gathering action for tomorrow. And whenever that person, program, or bot found a video whose hashtags met the parameters, it ADDED AS FAVORITE, so the next person, program, or bot could leave either a weak comment or an AI generated one. I know that sounds super out there and conspiracy theory but… it isn’t outside of the realm of exceptionally plausible.

So there you have it. That’s my APRIL 4TH this year. Hopefully, the thing I wanted to come here to write will be part of Saturday’s entry.