spending time in my mind in Each Day

I have spent so long avoiding being in my own head, or being trapped there with impulsive or obsessive thinking, that I forgot that it’s a place that I like to be.
I’ve been finding it boring to play the game I dissociate to, only opening the app out of habit, usually closing it after only one game.
I’ve been working in the art room in silence, no music, no YouTube video playing, just me and the art.
I am currently writing listening to lofi, because I find otherwise my mind wanders too much and I get nowhere.

I would like to follow my wandering mind, soon. Maybe once I’m out in the garden again. The yard has been calling me.

I saw Tina last week. I have settled into the idea that she and I have run our course. She told me about a skills class that I should participate in when it begins, focusing on the executive function end of ADHD challenges. My boss also has me looking into something similar, so I have a goal to chase.

The kitten is chasing my cursor on my screen, captivated by the letters appearing. He’s simultaneously the most perfect creature to ever exist, and also the spawn of satan. I love him.

Saturday morning the Coven ladies and I went to the shore and watched the solar eclipse (through our phones). I wrote some things I am grateful for, as well as wrote down some of the ways of thinking I would like to rid myself of, and I burned that piece of paper. Then Mandy and I went for breakfast and wandered around a fabric store for funsies. It was a really nice day.
I ended up at Mandy’s house this morning, too. Turns out her plants have thrips, too, so I helped her figure out which plants were effected and gave her a plan for dealing with it.

Things I’m working on:
- a stained glass of the spaceship from Heavy Metal (for M). I’m making it into a nightlight.
- A monstera leaf where half of it is mirror and the other half green (like a half moon leaf).
- a paint by numbers of a hummingbird (also for M)
- a mohair toque that was supposed to be a beret. Once I’m done this one I am going to start the beret again. My sister asked for one like, a year ago.
- An embroidery for Bastet, it says “Be Kind” in large letters and then in tiny writing underneath it says “of a bitch”. hehe.
- I haven’t picked up my embroidered monstera leaf since being in the hospice with my Goodmother, but it’s still on the list.
- I am altering a bunch of clothes, too many to list at the moment.

Things I’m reading:
- The Body is Not an Apology (Radical self-love)
- The Ancient Egyptian Daybook (Kemetic calendar and festivals)
- The Ancient Egyptian Prayerbook (a guide to modern Kemetic worship)

This is enough. Good night.