2. ~Octopussy~ in Retrograde in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

I was walking on air for the next several days, I can't really explain it but that lucky feeling just kept me going through any foibles that were made over the next several days.  However, my good feelings were put to the test that Friday evening.

I was invited to hang out at the house in which all the gay kids from the college lived and partied.  I truly believe my invitation was an accident or some type of Facebook error because I happen to know that the guy who owns the house doesn't like me at all... mainly because I think he's a gross little troll who has nothing better to do with himself than bitch about how wrong the world is...  But I digress, I was in such a positive mood that I decided to go anyways.

The night was really strange.  Oftentimes I'm the oldest person at the gathering, but usually it's not as concentrated as this is and there are some kind of expectations for public decorum.  That's not the case when I was at someone's house.  All the lesbians and trans men were happy to see me (which surprised me) and the vast majority of the gay men were too, but the little troll I mentioned previously was a little less enthused.  He kept making digs about how I "met Jesus" and remember when "the stock market crashed"...  Whatever.

Our little battle became a little more definite when one of the guys at the party started hitting on me.  It was extremely odd because I wasn't really in the head-space of receiving advances because typically I'm really good at picking up on that stuff.  Anyways, it became this battle between the troll and I to see who would get the guy... only, I didn't realize it until after the fact.  I wasn't really interested in hooking up with this guy because I had been completely satisfied by the kisses I received just a few nights earlier.  

Anyways, long story short... the troll won.  It wasn't until one of the lesbians pointed it out to me that I realized there'd been this battle being waged all night.  I went home early, and I thought about how sad of a situation that seems to be.  I mean, I don't think I'm all that, but I'm not so wrapped up in sex being the defining characteristic of my identity now.  For so many years that's what it seemed to be, my identity was defined solely by how many times and with how many different people I had sex with.  Now sex is an expression of other parts of my identity and NOT having it is just as much an expression as having it.

I sympathize with the troll because he'll grow up and get better.  Sex won't be a competition and hopefully he'll become less of an asshole to everyone.

I avoided him completely on my birthday because I knew he'd just be a dickhead.  Besides, Mikey got my Starbucks so I was in a happy place anyways.