It is so hard to keep rolling this boulder up this hill in Book Two

I need to find a way to reward myself. Something gamified. An App.
I need an app to reinforce positive behaviour and punish bad behaviour.
I need an app that will get me to do yoga and push-ups everyday.

I’ve been thinking that I like being liked. I like the feedback loop of making videos, of writing here, of posting things to instagram and to sketch a day. I will check in from time to time and see how many hearts or likes I have. It is a little moment of joy.

12 likes!
Who liked that?
Positive reinforcement.

And comments!
Comments are worth 10x a like!!

This is not healthy. I should be more content, self-satisfied. I don’t need others for the feedback loop. I can give myself the attention I crave.

I consider this because my video making at Bob’s Utopia has plateaued. I made 31 videos in 5 months and I have had successes.
I doubled the number of subscribers
I’ve made hundreds of dollars.
I’ve made friends - IRL and online friends.
But I have plateaued and without the positive feedback my will, my motivation is low to make any more.

Part of me thinks, “Whatever, pick it up again when you return to Taiwan next year.”
Part of me thinks, “Work through it. Keep going. The process is the fun part. Making videos makes me get out there and explore.”

On one hand: if it is a chore, why bother?
On the other: what about the 1% rule? What about striving, 10,000 steps a day, healthy habits?