Haunted Dolls in 2020s

Making like-minded online connections has always been enjoyable for me. I love the idea of an online bestie—someone I grow close to and who grows close to me, sharing much of our lives with the possibility of meeting in person someday. I don’t think I’ll ever have an online friend as close as I had with Aly, but the point is that a close, like-minded friend—someone open-minded, honest, intelligent enough, and at least mostly sane—is a whole different ballgame compared to the general population.

When I compare Aly and a few others in my mind to the average person, well, there really is no comparison. Most people are just so twisted in so many ways. I feel confident in my isolation from them—it keeps me saner and safer. I could go on and on about people’s cruelty, delusions, and unjust ways, but I’ll leave it at that for now.

I woke up surprisingly energetic today, but sure enough, within a few hours, that familiar wave of fatigue washed over me. I felt so relieved when I checked with AI and asked if this could happen with untreated sleep apnea, and it confirmed that it could. That makes more sense than blaming my thyroid since thyroid levels don’t fluctuate that radically. I don’t see why they wouldn’t give me a CPAP, but if, for whatever reason, they don’t, I’m going to need nasal valve surgery. My nose still affects my sleep at times.

I also realized that, for the first time in a long while, I’m actually grateful for my psychic abilities. Most of the time, they feel more like a curse than a blessing. But the recurring moving dreams I’ve been having—no matter how weird—give me hope that this issue will be resolved because we can’t move if it isn’t. I hold onto those dreams and that little bit of hope. If they only happened once in a while, I wouldn’t think much of them. And if we were as desperate to get out of here as we were in our last place, I might assume they were just reflections of my thoughts. But I really think these are signs. We adventurers have moved many times to many places, and these are the kinds of dreams I’ve always started having as it got close. Or close enough anyway, like within a few years.

I had many dreams last night, although I don’t remember the details. One of them must have been bad because I vaguely remember waking up scared, with my heart racing.

Back to the subject of cyber friends—someone’s entry about haunted dolls got me thinking and curious. I might have laughed at the idea years ago, but experience has taught me to keep an open mind, and now I definitely want to get one to see if I notice any difference in my life. A quick check showed they range in size and cost anywhere from $25 to hundreds of dollars. There was a cheap one I liked in Germany, but the shipping costs more than the doll itself. Besides, I don’t want just any doll—I want one that’s at least somewhat aesthetically pleasing. I don’t want some ugly heap of crap sitting around just because it’s said to be haunted.

With not much money at the moment and other priorities, it may be a while before I get one. Apparently, some have backstories (who haunts the doll and at least some of what happened to them when they lived) and there are ways to communicate with them as well, but I’m still not sure I believe in that sort of thing—or that I’d even know how to communicate with them, assuming we really do live on somehow after death. Most of them are said to contain positive energy, but I was surprised to find a few with negative energy. Who the hell would want to buy a doll with negative energy?