Day 72 - Why Am I So Scared to Be Direct With Her? in These Foolish Things

Do you remember me writing about my friend Anni? She’s the one who gets fall-down fucked up and gets mean to me on our girls trips and it’s become really, really upsetting to me. She had invited herself to a weekend here in my city when my Nashville girls were coming to town, and I told her that I needed to talk with her before she made flight reservations and other solid plans. I wanted to tell her that it’s NOT OKAY to get fucked up and be a total dick to me and that I would NOT have her in MY HOUSE treating me like shit.

Well, she blew off our first appointment to talk (just never answered the phone) and then we just kept missing each other, and finally it was too late for her to book any flights or make it here, so I dropped it.

We finally talked after the fact - after the girls came to visit. We talked due to a rift in a couple of other friends (also somewhat because of alcohol) and the fact that she’s planning a girls trip to Sedona for all of us. That’s going to be our next big Girls Trip this year.

But our talks have been mostly superficial. We DID talk about how all of us are cutting down on drinking - me, 100% and the rest of the women…well, some. And I made assumptions that she knew that I was referencing her when I said that drinking has become an ISSUE (emphasizing that!) for us as a group.

And I honestly felt like she understood after we’d had our little chat. Case somewhat closed until we’d see each other in person again and I’d see if she’d truly worked on the issue.

Until last evening. She called me to let me know of some of the details regarding when she’s coming to town next month for work. She’s not going to be staying with me, but she’s invited me to a couple of dinners that she’s having with some other women. And I’m excited to go! I definitely want to get out on the town, and she loves fancy. So that’s a yes - especially since she’s not going to be staying with me and I can just leave anytime if it gets weird. Right?

Then our conversation went to other things. She was talking about some trips that she’s taken with other friends and that a funny thing that happened when she went to see Marc Maron do a show in Napa. She said she loves Marc Maron so much and that she “gave him a gift” right in the middle of a show and that he was a little thrown during his act, but that he loved it and had mentioned it several times on his podcast (she says four times), but that she feels a little funny about it after the fact.

So of course, I had to do a little sleuthing because…hmmm, right? Why does that sound a little sus to me?

Here is what I found on Reddit. Note that Anni is the Gift Giver in all of these comments.

I am MORTIFIED for her! She lost control and PISSED herself? Oh my god. This was in January! She clearly hasn’t changed a bit!

THIS is what I’m dealing with.

So, I sent that Reddit link to my friend Lis. And I asked her the same thing as the title of this entry: why am I so afraid to be direct with her?

And this is what my wise friend replied:

I love her so much. She’s the wisest friend of them all. I agree with all of this, but there’s still the challenge of actually executing this conversation. I MUST step up to the plate and have this talk before the Sedona trip in early June.

Wish me luck.
xox,
GS